Is Nothing Sacred!!!

Ok so I know I said I wouldn't take long breaks between blogs anymore, but I had to ponder this one for a few days. So I was watching Real Sports errr.....I mean E:60 on ESPN the other night when a story about a man named Greg Valentino came on. For those who don't know who Valentino is, he is this guy. Valentino is known as "The Man Whose Arms Exploded." He abused steroids so frequently that at one point one of biceps actually burst. At his steroid peak he was pumping 4-5000 milligrams of testosterone into his body per week. The human body on its own only produces 50-100 milligrams a week. However Valentino is not the topic of this blog, rather it was another person interviewed for the story, and what this person revealed was so shocking and mind-blowing that I am amazed my head has not exploded yet.

The man who I am talking about is Dan Clark. Think about that name for a minute, does it ring a bell? It shouldn't, but how about this name.....wait for it....wait for it....Nitro as in Nitro from American Gladiators. In the ESPN piece, Nitro a.k.a. Mr. Clark revealed that he had abused steroids for close to 20 years. Once I heard this I immediately had to take a shower, I felt so dirty. You mean to tell me that American Gladiators was not a clean sport. I get why Major League Baseball players use steroids, I understand why NFL players juice, but American Gladiators? If we cant trust our (and yes they belong to us) American Gladiators then who can we trust?

When you are given the privilege to be an American Gladiator, you are not only representing yourself and your fellow gladiators, you are representing all of America. In a world based upon integrity, honor, and dignity what Nitro did was spit in the face of the Ol' Red, White, and Blue, through a twisted tale of lies and deception. All of those victories over everyday Joes in events such as Powerball, Breakthrough and Conquer, Joust, Assault, Atlasspheres, Dogfight, Duel, Gauntlet, Hang Tough, Pursuit, The Wall, and Tug-o-War (just to name a few) should be wiped clean. Forget the asterisks, take them out of the record books COMPLETELY!!! What kind of an example would we as Americans be setting for the youth of our country if we did not make an example of this Monster.

Mr. Clark's admission has made me rethink everything about American Gladiators. Do you mean to tell me that Gemini wasn't an actual constellation in the galaxy that could only be seen under the bright lights of Universal Studios Arena? I supposed next you would tell me that Zap and Laser were not actually born from lightning bolts from the great God Zeus. After telling me that you can then ruin my day by telling me Turbo's heart was only a V-6 engine and not the V-8 I had previously thought. You could even go a step further and tell me that Lace has bad skin. And if you really wanted me to jump off of a cliff you would tell me that that wasn't Malibu's real hair!!!

But why stop with the Gladiators? Maybe Color Analyst Larry Csonka really didn't know he had to look into the camera. Maybe that wasn't really Mike Adamle's voice. And worst of all maybe all of those signs in the crowd weren't made by the fans but rather by NBC executives. Mr. Clark has now brought into question everything about what used to one of the greatest sporting periods in American History. The only thing I can hope for now is that the powers that be at American Gladiators have cleaned up their acts and taken the blindfold off of America because with everything going on in the world today I don't think Americans could stomach the idea of New American Gladiator Wolf not actually being a wolf.