Saturday, August 1, 2009

Put Up or Shut Up

So I was watching Sportscenter this morning, and even though the baseball trade deadline just passed, and NFL training camps are opening up all over the country, the main story still seems to be the fallout from the positive drug tests of David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez. Anchors and guests were discussing the topic of whether or not the rest of names on that list of 104 should be released to avoid these disruptions every month or so. As a former reporter I say, HELL YES!! As a human being I say, HELL NO!!

Would I like to know who else tested positive? Sure I would, but I also know that if I were to participate in an experiment, because let's face it this was experimental testing, and I was told no matter what the results were they would remain confidential, and would NEVER, EVER be released to the public, clearly I would want my trust honored. As everyone knows by now, this is not the case.

I do believe the players that tested positive cheated the game, however we never should have known they tested positive in the first place. If I were one of the players whose name had been leaked I would be on the phone with Lowell "The Hammer" Stanley faster than you can say piss test.

This brings me to my next point. Who is this coward(s) who feels the need to ruin the lives of human beings without revealing his/her identity? Whoever it is, they are despicable for what they have done. Whats worse is they are most likely receiving compensation for ruining the lives of other human beings. 104 grown men, along with many others, made a conscious decision to participate in an experimental program, the goal of which was to clean up the game of Baseball. In making that decision they weren't just told, they were PROMISED there would be no consequences. By no means am I siding with drug users, but at the same time I am putting myself in their shoes and a promise is a promise. The sad part is while these players are suffering through the consequences right now, these unnamed sources will keep benefiting from the plight of others, and its disgusting.

There are only 3 entities that have access to the list. The Major League Baseball Players Association, Major League Baseball and the U.S. Attorney's Office. There is a leak in one of these extremely powerful organizations, and I now feel this story has taken a turn from whats wrong with Baseball to whats wrong with America.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Wow....

The title could be used to define a few things. 1) People's reactions when they see I finally wrote another blog, or 2) my reaction to learning that one of my ultimate baseball heroes has been implicated in the Performance Enhancing Drug Scandal engulfing the sport. For those of you who have not tuned in to any news entity today, David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez' names have been linked to the supposed "secret list" of those who failed experimental drug testing in 2003. Wow...

As a baseball fan, and especially as a Red Sox fan, I was shocked but only for selfish reasons. I don't want to believe that this is true, hell I don't even want to believe that A-Rod took steroids, because all of these positive tests and subsequent denials or admissions are a black eye for the game that even still is my favorite of any on earth. That being said, was I surprised? Absolutely not. There have been TOO many positive tests, TOO many denials, TOO many admissions to be surprised at the point.

I wrote a blog on this very site in the days following the Manny Ramirez suspension about whether or not his positive test "tainted" the Red Sox' Championships in 2004 and 2007. I said no for a couple of reasons. One being there was no proof that he used while with the Red Sox, and two, even if he did use with the Red Sox there were numerous players on every other team that were using as well. (103 players divided by 30 teams means EVERY team had someone juicing). Just look at the 2003 and 2004 ALCS' between the Red Sox and Yankees. From what we know now, who wasn't juicing? I wouldn't say the Ortiz news taints the titles, because lets face it, as a Red Sox fan nothing will ever be better than the ride that was October 2004, but no longer can Red Sox fans walk around feeling invincible in this PED era. I think the words to describe today's revelations are dissapointing and sad, but no one can say it taints the titles.

We've reached a point where nothing should surprise us as baseball fans anymore, but at the same time if Albert Pujols' name was linked to PED's tomorrow there would be a sense of shock to the news. Nobody can say I was naive to think no Red Sox player ever used steroids. I posted on this blog before that I thought numerous players on the Sox have used, however I never thought Ortiz was one of them. Ortiz, while injury prone with Minnesota, showed he had a good power stroke before coming to the Red Sox, his physical appearance never changed like that of many other players linked to PED's, and he became a better overall hitter once he got the chance to play everyday. There was no reason in my mind to think he would be linked in anyway to this era. However the fact of the matter is, he is now apart of this "tainted" era of baseball, and it's a tough pill to swallow because this is the man who kept the word "believe" in Websters Dictionary's all over New England. The same man who made sure you NEVER left a Red Sox game early. The same man who for five years was the Gehrig to Manny's Ruth. The same man who during spring training said anyone caught with steroids should be out of the game. Wow....

Finishing thought, isn't it odd that the men who deny, deny, deny are the ones getting caught? As a Red Sox fan I guess its a good thing Pedro Martinez has for once has kept his mouth shut.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Life Just Isn't Fair


Tom Watson should have won the British Open.

It was the perfect script. One of golf's legends returning 22 years later to the same course where he famously dueled with arguably the greatest player in golf history at the 1977 Open Championship. Watson prevailed over Jack Nicklaus on that day at Turnberry in what many call the greatest final round of golf in major championship history. But with his 6th claret jug (and 9th major championship) all but in the bag on Sunday, Watson learned the cruel lesson that all of us do on a sometimes daily basis: Life just isn't fair.

And that's what's so great about sports. Time and time again, sports mirror real life. The highs and lows. The thrills and the heartbreaks. Yeah, they're just "games" at the end of the day, but there are lessons there to be learned. Just like each day of each of our lives.

And so was the case on Sunday. Watson had captivated the sports world. Tiger Woods was not around this particular weekend after missing the cut at a major for just the second time in his glorious career, but thankfully for golf (and the TV networks) there was Watson.

Two months shy of celebrating his 60th birthday, Watson was aiming to become the oldest player (by far) to ever win a major. An opening round 65 had people talking, but when he followed that up with a 70 on Friday and then a 71 on Saturday -- when anything under par on both days was a great score -- we all started to believe that this could actually happen. Nicklaus said he and his wife shed a few tears while watching the action on Saturday from their home in Florida. I'm guessing they weren't alone. This was more than just Tom Watson showing all of us that "old" people were still capable of doing some pretty special things. This was Tom Watson showing all of us that we're all capable of doing some pretty special things, no matter the circumstance.

And so there he stood on the 18th tee on Sunday. A par away from one of the most improbable victories in sports history. Four shots away from the best moment the golf world has seen since Tiger's win at The Masters a decade and a half ago. One par.

He hit his drive perfectly, just like he'd done all week. In the middle of the fairway, he was a mere decent approach from a sure victory. But in links golf anything can happen. And in links golf, just like in life, you face constant decisions without much time to make them. You do what you think his best, and then plow full-steam ahead.

Watson was in between clubs. He said he thought about hitting a 9-iron, but felt more comfortable hitting an 8. The decision took just seconds, but it changed the outcome of the entire tournament. His swing was perfect. His contact was perfect. He's Tom Watson. That's what he does. He's made that same swing hundreds of thousands of times with hundreds of thousands of dollars hanging in the balance. But this time it was too perfect.

The ball landed just short of the green and kicked right toward the flag, but the first bounce was too high and the pace was too fast. The ball ran thru the green and off the back. It came to rest in the rough behind the green, leaving Watson with a difficult up-and-down to save par and win the tournament.

"I hit the 8-iron just like I wanted to hit it. But in retrospect, I guess I should have hit the 9," Watson said afterward. As they say, hindsight is always 20-20. But like in life, there were no do-overs on this day. There was no other person on the planet that could have made that decision for Tom Watson. He hit the cub he felt most comfortable with. He hit it perfect. But the result just wasn't what he wanted.

Just minutes later, Watson was faced with another tough decision for his third shot. Laying in the rough, the conventional play was to chip the ball up the slope and land it on the green, letting it feed toward the hole. But, Watson said he didn't feel comfortable chipping in that situation, with the condition of the terrain in front of him, because too many bad things could happen if he didn't make contact like he wanted to. He chose to putt.

Watson stroked the ball solidly. It had no problem getting thru the fringe and up to the green, but the speed was so much that it ran eight feet past the hole. That left an extremely testy put for par and the tournament championship.

And so there he was. Tom Watson. Fifty-nine years old. A legend of the game. A winner of eight major championships. There he was, on the very same course on the west coast of Scotland where some 22 years ago he outdueled the great Jack Nicklaus to win one of those eight major championships. Tom Watson. Eight feet from one of the great sporting moments of my lifetime. Eight feet from history. Thousands of people surrounding him and that small patch of grass he was standing on, hoping to will a tiny golf ball into a small hole. Millions more watching on television trying to do the same thing.

He missed.

It was probably the worst putt he hit all week. He desrcibed afterward in one word -- "lousy."

And that was it. The tournament was not over, but for all intent and purposes it was. The bogey dropped Watson into a tie with Stewart Cink at 2-under. They headed back to the 5th tee for a 4-hole playoff to decide the champion. But the air was out of the Tom Watson balloon. His 59-year-old boldy started catching up with him and the playoff was never really competitive. Cink won by six shots, claiming his first major championship. It was well-deserved for one of the nicest guys on Tour. But the story of the week was, and always will be, Watson.

He should have won the British Open. That 8-iron should have stopped on the back of the green. That par putt should have went in. I should have just witnessed one of the great sporting moments of my lifetime.

Life just isn't fair.

But, you know what? That's what makes it so much fun.

There were no do-overs for Tom Watson today, but I'm giving myself one. I said that I should have just witnessed one of the great sporting moments of my lifetime. And in retrospect, I think I just did.


Saturday, June 27, 2009

Hello, Again


One month.

It's been one full month since you've heard from me. I pretty much went into hiding after the Cavs debacle, and for that I really don't apologize. I'm still not fully recovered. And the Indians certainly aren't helping.

The Cavs coupled with the new job have definitely been the two main culprits for my absence. I know how much everyone has missed me. I've had a lot of people get on me for not writing. What can I say? I get home from work, get a bite to eat, flip on the TV and by the time 11:00 hits -- when I was planning to sit down and write -- I can barely keep my eyes open. It's definiely sad. Of course, it's not like I actually go to bed at that time. I end up passing out around 11:30 or midnight while I'm watching TV, and then I wake up around 2 or 3 and go thru the process of actually getting ready for bed. So then I end up not falling asleep again until 3:30ish -- which is awesome when my alarm goes off at 7:15am. It's a pretty sweet cycle I got going.

But I'm trying to get on a decent sleep schedule. When that finally happens I'll be able to start posting twice a week again. So there's that. Now, let's get on to the matters at hand ...

The Cavs

Wow. So much to cover. I'm not sure where to begin. Let's start with the end of the season...

My last post was written after Game 4 of the conference finals when the Cavs went down 3-1. I wrote then that I thought they still had an outside shot to win the series. I thought they would win Game 5 at home (which they did), so that meant it would all come down to Game 6 in Orlando. I felt really good about a Game 7 at home. Of course, it never got back to Cleveland. And the truth of it is, by the time I wrote my last post I knew it probably would never get to that Game 7 at The Q. The bottom line is the Cavs lost to a better team. The Cavs had the best player, but Orlando was a better team 2-thru-8.

We also found out that Mo Williams isn't quite as good as we gave him credit for during the season. I mean, my grandpa called him "the best guard the Cavs have ever had" at one point during the year. And that's beyond high praise coming from him. This is the same guy that couldn't stand Manny Ramirez when he was here. Yeah, that Manny Ramirez -- the best right-handed hitter of my lifetime. Look, I really like Mo. He had a great year and I definitely think he is a key piece to this team, but the truth of it is if Mo Williams is your second best player you're not going to win a championship. We know that now.

Danny Ferry thought he could get away with it as the trade deadline came and went without the Cavs making a move, but we all found out in late-May what a big error in judgement that was. I know hindsight is 20-20, but still. I'm a big believer in team chemistry and all that, but the fact of the matter is the Cavs were 3-6 against the Magic, Lakers and Celtics during the season -- and 0-5 against those teams on the road. They beat up on everybody else (which is great), but they knew they were going to have to go thru Orlando or Boston in the East and the Lakers in the West .. and Ferry didn't pull the trigger to make the team better. That hurts. I hope they win a championship soon so I don't have to look back in 10 years and recall that our unwillingness to give up Wally Sczerbiak because we didn't want to screw with team chemistry probably cost us a title. The Suns were practically giving away Shaq, and the Cavs said, "No, thanks. We're good." Uh, not so much.

That, of course, leads me to Shaq. Everyone has been asking me my thoughts on the Cavs bringing the Diesel to C-town. Honestly, I really don't know. I would've loved it a lot more in February. I know that. And I'll tell you this: It's not enough. Shaq isn't the Shaq of six or seven years ago. Hell, Shaq isn't the Shaq of last year. He's certainly not young, and can we really expect him to stay healthy for a full season again? And even if he does there's still a lot that makes me nervous. Basketball-wise, it does nothing to help our pick-n-roll defense, which killed the Cavs against Orlando. And LeBron's never played with a big guy that demands the ball on the block and clogs things up in the paint. The Cavs have had a lot of guys clog up the paint the past few years, but they weren't doing it by design. Our offense just sucks.

They have to add another piece. We all knew going into the offseason that the Cavs needed two things desperately: 1) A big guy that can score around the basket, defend he rim and defend guys like Dwight Howard one-on-one, and 2) A big, athletic guard or wing that can get his own shot, score and defend guys like Rashard Lewis. They took care of the first thing (I hope) with the Shaq deal. At the very least, it's a giant improvement over Ben Wallace. Again, assuming Shaq can stay healthy. Getting part two of that combination now becomes paramount. The three names I keep hearing are: Rasheed Wallace, Charlie Villanueva and Anthony Parker. I'd be okay with 'Sheed or Villanueva, but if you made me choose I'd rather have Villanueva. He's younger (and more athletic), and he's obviously a much smaller -- for lack of a better term -- personality than 'Sheed. The Cavs already have LeBron and Shaq. "Larger than life" personas are covered for the 2009-10 season at The Q.

And that is my biggest question about the whole Shaq situation. Can LeBron and Shaq co-exist in smooth harmony? They are both alpha dogs in the truest sense of the term. The good news is Shaq has done it in the past. He won three titles with Kobe and another with Dwyane Wade. But this situation is different. Shaq was still Batman in both of those scenarios. He came to those teams before Kobe and D-Wade had realy established themselves as bonafide superstars. Shaq was "the man." Kobe and D-Wade were able to fill that Robin role because they were okay with doing so at that point in their careers. Well, LeBron ain't no Robin. He's the best player on the planet. He's the unquestioned leader of the team. This is his franchise. This is his city. Can Shaq handle that? He's saying all the right things now, but Shaq has never taken a back seat to anyone. Can he do so now in the twilight of his career? Let's hope. The only reason I think he can (and will) is the motivation to win another title. He may not always seem like it, but Shaq is a ruthless competitor and he loves winning. He wants that 5th ring. And especially wants it after Kobe just won his 4th and proved he can win without the Big Aristotle.

Another intriguing qustion is what will it mean for LeBron's legacy now if the Cavs do win the title next year? Will it be thought of as LeBron leading his team to a title, or LeBron and Shaq leading their team to a title? That's a story for another day, but it's something to think about at the very least. Let's just hope that it does eventually become a story because the Cavs actually do go on to win the title next year.

And, of course, what does all this mean for LeBron's future plans with the Cavs? Again, a story for another day.

The Indians

I can't. I just can't.

I can't even write about them. It's just so sad. And frustrating. And disappointing.

I just can't.


Michael Jackson

I really thought I should write something about Michael Jackson's passing on Friday. And I'll try to keep this part short.

First of all, I'm not big on judging celebrities of any kind (athletes, actors, musicians, etc.) on a personal level. The main reason for this is that I'm not big on judging someone as a person that I don't personally know. We can get an idea of who these people are from the media, watching them on television and/or listening to their music; but let's be honest, we don't really know them. So, I prefer to judge these people on their body of work.

That said, it was a really sad day for the world of pop culture on Friday. You don't get more famous than Michael Jackson. And you certainly don't get more talented. You can't really even put into words what Michael Jackson meant to music, and what he meant to pop culture. He was a level of famous that only a handful of people will ever know. This, of course, contributed to most of his personal issues. But no matter what you think of those issues, you can't deny the man's talent. It's sad to think that a person who provided so much joy to other people's lives struggled so much to find joy in his own.

Michael Jackson was the greatest entertainer of my lifetime. And it's not even close. And he's in the discussion as the greatest entertainer ever. Don't agree? Watch this and try to come up with an argument for someone else. A sold-out crowd of people of all ages, sexes and races at Madison Square Garden in New York City doesn't stop screaming for eight minutes. Unbelievable stuff.

We will never see another Michael Jackson. People love to throw that saying around, and it's usually hyperbole when they do. Not in this case.

You can hate it all you want, but you will remember where you were when you heard that Michael Jackson died.


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

On the Brink of Disaster


Frustrated. Sick. Disappointed. Surprised. Angry. Baffled. Confused. Pissed.

Pick one. All those words do a pretty good job of explaining how I feel about the Cavs-Magic series right now. As I wrote in my last post, I knew Orlando would provide a very stiff test for the Cavs. They just don't match-up well with with the Magic, and it's showed over the past few years as Orlando has pretty much owned the Wine & Gold during the regular season. But, that said, I still thought the Cavs would win this series and advance on to the NBA Finals. Now? Well, obviously, I'm not so sure.

I'm keeping this short and sweet because I could easily write 10,000 words about what's gone wrong in this series (and I very well might do that when it's all said and done). For now, let's focus on a couple of glaring things:

Mo Williams

I thought Mo was fantastic during the regular season. I was pissed when he didn't make the All-Star team originally, and I was glad when he eventually was picked. I thought it was well-deserved. But that was the regular season. Mo has not been himself in the playoffs, and especially in this series. This is his first career trip through the playoffs -- and it's been a bumpy ride. I give him credit; he isn't backing down. He still goes out there every night and takes his shots. He's still playing hard. But the results definitely haven't been there. He's scoring, but it's taking him way too many shots to get his points. Here's his field goal numbers in the first four games: 6-for-19, 7-21, 5-16 and 5-15. Yikes. And it gets worse. Here's what he's done from 3-point range: 2-for-8, 1-6, 3-10 and 0-3. This is a guy who shot 47% from the field and 44% on 3's during the regular season. He looked better in Game 4 until he completely disappeared in the 4th quarter. He has to play better. Obviously.

Cavs Defense vs. the 3-Pointer

Or better yet, lack thereof. Sports are pretty simple. Take away the other team's strength and exploit their weakness. The Cavs have done neither. In case you haven't noticed, Orlando shoots the 3-ball pretty well. Well, someone might want to inform the Cavs coaching staff. The old basketball addage says that a jump-shooting team will live and die by the 3. The Magic are living quite well, thank you. You would think the Cavs would make an adjustment at some point and try to take that away. What they are doing is (clearly) not working. Orlando is getting wide open 3 after wide open 3 in this series. Hence, these numbers from 3-point range in the first four games: 9-for-20, 10-23, 6-17 and 17-38. That's 42 3-pointers made in four games. And they're shooting them at a 43% clip. That's staggering considering the amount of 3's they take. But here's the thing -- they're WIDE OPEN! They're good shooters as it is, and they're WIDE OPEN! That's what happens when you waste so much time doubling Dwight Howard. It's driving me crazy.

Dwight Howard can only score on dunks, put-backs and at the free throw line. If he gets a dunk every now and again, so be it. Last I checked 2 points is less than 3. And even though he's turned into Mark Price at the foul line the past 2 games, I'm still okay with using fouls on him and making him earn it at the stripe. Howard dominated the first half of Game 1 and he dominated the first half of Game 4. The Cavs had no answer for him inside. He scored at will. Well, guess what? The Cavs led 63-48 at the half in Game 1 and 58-50 at the break in Game 4. That's because while Howard was going off nobody else was getting many shots. That should be the Cavs' goal. Dwight Howard can't win a game by himself offensively. He's not skilled enough if you make him catch the ball 10-12 feet from the basket. But, the Magic can win games with their 3-point shooting (as they did in Game 4).

My suggestion? Quit doubling-down on Howard so much, and STOP leaving 3-point shooters to help on a guy driving to the basket. The Cavs get caught scrambling and it always leads to an open 3. Let's see if Orlando can score by beating people off the dribble and actually finishing at the rim instead of kicking out for a wide open 3. No one on their team has proven they can do that consistently other than possibly Turkoglu. You just can't give up 17 3's in a game and expect to win. Stay with the shooters!!

The Swagger is Gone

The Cavs just haven't looked like the same team in this series. Their confidence isn't what it was leading up to this serries. They -- I hate to say it -- look like they're afraid they're going to lose. Orlando is definitely in their head. The Cavs are tensing up in big moments and reverting back to "stand-around-and-watch-LeBron-mode." That's not good. They got out of that bad habit during the regular season and the first two rounds of the playoffs, but it's returned lately. All I know is they better find that swagger real quick or I'll be writing a 10,000-word "How did this happen?" post within the next couple of days. And no one wants that.


With all that said, and with as bad as things have looked so far -- it's not over. I'm trying to stay optimistic. We still have LeBron. Every game (other than Game 3) has been very tight and has come down to the last possession. Just as the Magic could easily have already won this series 4-0, the Cavs could just as easily be up 3-1. If the Wine & Gold take Game 5 at home Thursday (and I think they will), it all comes down to Game 6 back in Orlando. Win that, and it's back home for a Game 7 with all the momentum in the world. That's the only way to look at it now. The odds are clearly stacked against them. Teams down 3-1 in a best-of-7 series are 8-182 in NBA playoff history.

But there were those 8.

Here's hoping the Cavs are number 9.

Hurt So Good

Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmeiro, Roger Clemens, Jason Giambi, Andy Pettitte, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez. These are some of the more high profile names that have been attached to performance enhancing drugs over the past 5 years. Included among the names listed is one of the greatest right handed pitchers of all time and what will most likely be 6 of the top 15 home run hitters of all time. While the uproar from the media, fans, hall of fame voters, and in some instances fellow players to clean up the game has been deafening at times, is it not just a little bit hypocritical? Believe me I am 100-percent in favor of steroid testing, and firmly believe all sports should adopt Olympic testing guidelines, but after looking at that list of players I just mentioned one would be naive to think that steroids did not help save the game.

August 12th, 1994. I was 11 years old, still young enough to view professional athletes as idols, not really understanding the business side of sports. When I heard the players were going on strike that day I had no clue what that meant, all I knew was that they weren't going to be playing baseball THAT day. I didn't know that one day would turn into 232 days. I didn't know that one day would turn into the first autumn since 1904 without a World Series. I didn't know that one day would turn into the first professional sports league to cancel its entire postseason due to a labor dispute. I didn't know anything other than the fact that as August turned to September, and September to October, and 1994 to 1995, and after no spring training, and a cancelled Opening Day, they still weren't playing baseball. When they finally did come back I still didn't understand completely but I knew I was angry, however I wasn't going to hold a grudge. The same could not be said for baseball fans all across the country.

Once the players returned to the park, it was the fans' turn to go on strike. Attendance at stadiums all across the country plummeted, a clear sign everyday Americans were not happy with whining millionaires. The 1995 season came and went with the only real story line being that the Braves finally won a World Series, their only title during a decade and a half of dominance in the N.L. East. 1996 rolled around and once again it was a non-descript season filled with empty ballparks. It wasn't until August of that season that fans began to pay attention but that was because of one player in one city...Cal Ripken's chase of Lou Gehrig's consecutive games mark. While that was a great moment for Ripken and for baseball it did little to incite interest in the game once the record was broken. 1997 came and went, albeit with a very good World Series, but lets face it, its hard to get interested when the Florida Marlins are in the World Series. That brings us to 1998...

It almost seemed as if it was predestined that Mark McGwire would make a serious chase for Roger Maris' home run mark having hit 52, and 58 home runs the two years prior, but no one could have predicted how much fun it was going to be once Sammy Sosa got involved. These two mountains of men captivated baseball fans all over the country, tracking down one of the most hallowed records in the game. Personally it was the most fun I have ever had watching teams I had no rooting interest in. I couldn't wait to turn on WGN at 2:05 almost everyday during the summer for that afternoon's Cubs game, and it seemed as if every Cardinals game somehow made its way onto ESPN. It was amazing and it lasted for a full season. Baseball was back and it was all because of the long ball.

The 1998 season set the tone for an offensive era the likes of which had never been seen before, with some remnants of that still hanging around (A-Rod in 2007, Manny at the end of last season.) People were coming back to the ballpark to see these behemoths hit balls to areas once thought to be unreachable. Fans loved it, I mean the home run is one of the most exciting if not awe-inspiring plays in baseball, and I am going to say it again....IT SAVED BASEBALL!!

Do I think the powers that be in Major League Baseball knew about the steroid problem way before they are letting on? Of course I do. Do I also know that MLB is a business and they will do anything to make money? Absolutely. This may be a conspiracy theory, but I believe Selig let it go on until it got to a point that it literally was out of control. At the same time, if that is true it worked. As a result of the home run, baseball is more prosperous than it has ever been. Fans are showing up in record numbers, almost every single baseball game is on TV, and many teams have made going to the ballpark an experience rather than just a game.

I am not condoning anything illegal here I am simply stating a fact with my own "eye-test". If steroids and the blown up statistics as result of them didn't save baseball then why are fans still showing up in these record numbers? Fans refused to show up to games after the strike. We are not seeing that same outcry as a result of the performance enhancing drug era. So the next time we (myself included) want to vilify these individuals for cheating the game, maybe we should thank them.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Cavs, UK and Puke


The layoff is over. I (like the Cavs) am back! I've got so many things I want to write about after the long layoff, but I won't hit all of them in this particular post. Without further ado...

I started a new job this week, so that's monopolized most of my time. Add that to an epic trip to Columbus last week to celebrate my new job and the result is my disappearance from the blog lately.

Speaking of that trip to Columbus ... the old body doesn't respond to a heroic night of drinking like it used to. I arrived in C-bus at 4:30 last Tuesday afternoon and within 45 minutes was sitting on the patio of Brazenhead in Old Dublin on a gorgeous evening with an Amstel Light in hand. Eleven hours later I was puking in Chad and Sean's kitchen sink wondering how the hell I got home and whether or not I would still be alive the next day. I was, but barely. I couldn't eat anything and I felt like I had to puke the entire day -- which made sense because I did have to puke the entire day. I was laying on Chad's bathroom floor at one point, after another round of upchuck, trying not to think about the fact that I was 28 years old and that all this was occuring on a Wednesday afternoon. Good times. Thanks, Andy Greene!!

Puking sucks. There's no two ways about it. But, I'll say this: I've had some very proud moments during puke sessions. For example, Chad and Sean went back to their place before I did that night and they still have no idea I puked in their sink (until they read this post anyway). How it's possible for our body and mind to get on the same page for brief moments during a bodily crisis like puking after an epic night of drinking is beyond me, but it happens. I was so fucked up I could barely stand to hold myself over the sink, but yet I still managed to muster the strength to clean up after myself. I had to. I was at my buddies' place after all. You clean up after yourself. No questions asked. And, if you're really good, you leave no evidence behind. I was ripping off paper towels, clearing out the drain and running water to clean the sink like I was a career maid at the local Super 8. It was impressive.

The best ever though was when I got a little carried away at a Christmas party at my boss' house when I worked at a TV station up in Wisconsin years back. It was my first big social event with most of my co-workers, including my boss, and I ended up in his bathroom upstairs at the end of the night ... and, well, you can guess. I was on my hands and knees cleaning off the toilet seat and wall (hey, you miss sometimes) for what seemed like an hour. I came out thinking I was in the clear as I was mercifully driven home by a friendly TV person. That was until Monday morning at the station when my boss called me into his office and told me his wife had spent the next morning cleaning up the spots I had "missed." It wasn't my finest hour, but my boss was super cool with the whole thing and actually just made fun of me. I called his wife to apologize later that day and she loved me forever because of it -- the call to apologize that is, not the puke on the wall. See, effort counts in life.

Thank God the Cavs get back to work Wednesday. If all I had to watch right now was the Tribe I would be making repeated trips to Chad and Sean's kitchen sink or my boss' bathroom. I've said all along that the team that scared me the most in the East was Orlando. I don't like the way the Cavs match-up with them. They're big and they all can shoot (with the exception of Dwight Howard). With that said, I still like the Cavs. They are on a mission right now. They're the only team left that has that look. Boston had it last year. The Cavs have it this year. Denver has played really well, but they have that look the Cavs had two years ago. You know the look. It says, "I can't believe it's late-May and we're still playing. This is great!!" I see the Lakers beating them in 6 or 7. And Orlando's just not ready for this stage. The Cavs have the experience. They have the homecourt. They have that look of a team that's on a mission. And most importantly, of course, they have LeBron. I just don't see anyone beating them 4 times in 7 games. I really don't. I like the Cavs in 6 (possibly 7).

Before I go, are you paying attention to what's going on in Lexington right now? Yes, that Lexington. The home of this. UK Basketball is scary good on paper right now, and we still don't even know yet if Jodie Meeks will take his name out of the NBA Draft. (He should, by the way.) We've gone from an NIT berth and a team in turmoil beause of rumors that the coach might get fired and the two best players would leave for the riches of the NBA ... to a legit national title contender in a span of less than two months! I loved the Calipari hire as I expressed in this post back on April 1, but even I wasn't expecting all that's taken place in the weeks since. When John Wall announced his decision to attend UK late Monday night the Cats immediately became a team that has to be ranked in the preseason Top 5, if not the Top 2 or 3. Patrick Patterson announced he's coming back a few weeks ago. And they already had what was widely thought of as the best recruiting class in the country coming in before Wall committed.

So, IF Meeks comes back, here's what we're talking about roster-wise next year: 2 legit first team All-American candidates in Patterson and Meeks; 6'9'' senior Perry Stevenson down low (a very serviceable big man who's started the past two years); promising 6'7" sophomore Darius Miller (who saw major minutes last year as a freshman and who could thrive in Cal's system); shaky but ultra-athletic 6'6" sophomore DeAndre Liggins (another that could thrive under Cal); Ramon Harris (another senior who's played major minutes in his career) and, of course, the SPECTACULAR freshman class. Four guys ranked in the Top 25 by Rivals.com, including the top two -- Wall (No. 1) and DeMarcus Cousins (No. 2). Wall's a point guard and Cousins is 6'10". Throw in Daniel Orton (No. 22), Eric Bledsoe (No. 23) and 4-star recruit and the reigning Kentucky "Mr. Basketball" Jon Hood (No. 40) and I think we might have something. Oh, and don't forget about the coveted JUCO transfer Darnell Dodson. Wow.

Soak it in.

That Sweet Sweet Music

Following along with my post last week about the Pens/Caps series and how it helped bring me back to the game of hockey, let me tell you about the best thing hockey has going for it right now. Its not the young stars taking control of the game, its not breathtaking saves, hell its not even the fights, it is....THE HOCKEY ORGAN!!! Is there a better musical instrument than this? Quick and simple answer..NO!

While watching any hockey game recently, and believe me I have watched my fair share, whenever I hear the dulcet tones of the horgan, I first crack up laughing because it sounds like something that is more suited for this, and second my mind starts racing to figure out which song it is projecting for the masses. For example, the lady and I were watching one of the Pens-Caps games last week and the horganist decides its the perfect time to play Pink's "Rock Star", and who is going to argue with a horganist. I am not a fan on Pink, never really have been, maybe she has one song that I may enjoy, but that's about it, but whenever one of her songs is played with the sweet ivory of the keys on a horgan I LOVE IT!!!

Another example, I was watching a Red Wings-Ducks game when Detroit's professional horganist chooses to play Katy Perry's "Hot-n-Cold"....PRICELESS!! I have no problem admitting I've been known to drink a few beers and belt out the words to this song, but I was sober and singing along this time. The fact of the matter is while church organs are nice, hockey organs are SPECTACULAR! They literally sound like a 1980's hair band synthesizer on steroids. (Gary Bettman, please don't test it!)

I think my appreciation for this magic maker first began back in college. I was at a Flyers playoff game against Tampa Bay back in 2003, if my memory is correct. 20,000 Philadelphians wearing at least one piece of orange clothing each, this place needed no extra incentive to be riled up, but then it happened...ENTER SANDMAN ON THE ORGAN!! I was blown away, it was one of the coolest things I have ever heard, and the Wachovia Center went nuts. If Metallica would have been there, they would've left with their tales between their legs, that's how impressive it was. I really think the sweet sounds were solely responsible for the Flyers victory that night. So the next time you're at a hockey game, and you really should try to get out to one, raise a Bud Light to local horganist, because he is....A Real American Hero. (Or Man of Genius, whichever you prefer.)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

In Case You Missed It

As the title says, in case you missed it, and you probably did, the second best postseason series of the spring concluded last night. The first is clearly the Celtics-Bulls marathon, but the Penguins and Capitals ended what was one of the best NHL postseason series this decade, and definitely the best since the lockout ruined hockey. This was one of those unique series that had just about everything and because of that I was captivated by it. It also didn't hurt that my girlfriend is a Pens fan, but I digress. I will admit, I am slowly becoming a hockey fan again, and this series may have been the clincher. 7 games, 3 that went to overtime, constant back and forth, countless series changing moments, this series had it ALL!!!

Obviously star-power is the first ingredient to any classic series. When Evgeni Malkin is the 3rd and sometimes 4th best player on the ice depending on how Marc-Andre Fleury is playing, you know the stars have come out to play. Alex Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby are laying the groundwork for a legendary duel that may take 10 years to play out, with other young studs such as Malkin, Fleury, Jordan Stall, Simeon Varlamov, Mike Green and Nick Backstrom providing support. Ovechkin, who I must admit I'm developing a little bit of a man crush on in a strictly athletic sense, reminds me a lot of Mario Lemieux with his combination of size, power, and skill that no one else on the ice possesses, whereas Crosby is a lot more like Wayne Gretzky. He just glides along the ice making it look effortless sometimes, and he has some of the best hands I have ever seen on a hockey player. These two teams are just scratching the surface of their potential and the Penguins have already been to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Aside from the young guns, this series also had the wily veterans looking for another sip from Lord Stanley's Cup. Bill Guerin for the Pens providing another option for a team already loaded with offense, and a former league MVP in Sergei Federov coming through with the great two-way play that made him a perennial All-Star in Detroit. It was so much fun to watch these two generations of players come together on these teams.

What really took this series to the next level though was the energy that was brought to the rink by these two fan bases. Of course if you have watched hockey over the past 20 years then you know that Pens fans know how to 'bring it", but what was amazing was how Caps fans responded to the teams longest playoff run in over 10 years. The "Rock the Red" was one of the better individual team promotions in a long time, and the Caps definitely capitalized on a perfect storm in the D.C. sports scene. With the Nationals and Wizards among the worst teams in their leagues and the Redskins mired in mediocrity the Caps became the only team worth showing up for in the Nation's Capital, and they came through.

If I were Gary Bettman and thank God I'm not, I would find a way to manipulate it so that for the next 10 years these two teams meet every year in the postseason. It was a thrill to watch these two teams and all of the superstars that came with them battle it out for 7 games. Sure Game 7 was a dud compared to the first 6, but the fact was I WATCHED Game 7 because I didn't know what I would see next. This may be the kind of series that gets hockey back on television regularly, (seriously, Versus?) I grew up loving the game of hockey, and admit that I kind of lost touch with it during the no obstruction penalty years and ultimately the lockout, but I'm back now and I hope other disconnected fans feel the same.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Side Effects?

Ok, so it has now been 5 days since Manny Ramirez was suspended by MLB for testing positive for a banned substance, which we now know falls under the performance enhancing drug category. Due to my status as a Red Sox fan I have had people ask my opinion of the whole situation, and at first I wasn't going to write anything about it, but after doing some deep thought and reflection I feel as if I need to say this, Ramirez's suspension changes NOTHING!!!

How do I feel about the Red Sox' World Series victories in 2004 and 2007? The same way I felt about them yesterday and the day before that, and the week before that, and the months and years before that...GREAT! Manny Ramirez testing positive for performance doesn't change one thing and if you continue reading you will understand why.

Did it hurt a little bit to know that a guy I followed religiously for almost 8 years on teams that I felt I connected with tested positive for performance enhancing drugs? Of course it does. As a fan, if you invest time, energy and even money into following a team, news like this is always going to hurt, however with the current state of baseball, nothing surprises me anymore. Steroids and other performance enhancing drugs are going to be the iconic symbol for Major League Baseball from 1987 through probably 2015 (or whenever A-rod retires). The talk of steroids will go on even longer as a result of the great Hall of Fame debates that will take place over the next 15-25 years. So while as a fan it did sting for a minute, that was the extent of it.

If anyone wants to bring up the argument that the Red Sox World Series victories are now somehow tainted, then tell that person to read the above paragraph and also let them know that they might be the most ignorant person on the face of the earth. Say Ramirez was using while with the Red Sox (and we'll address that issue in just a moment), are you then saying the only team with steroid users was the Red Sox, HELL NO!!! Every team in MLB had at least one player and in many cases, players plural, juicing at one time or another over the past 20 years, so don't try to tell me that Ramirez was the only person using at that time, which brings me to my next point.....

How do we even know Ramirez was using with the Red Sox? We don't. Before everyone calls out my Red Sox bias hear me out. Manny came up with the Indians in 1994 and hit 17 home runs in 91 games. That was his last partial season in the big leagues. His home run totals since then have been in order, 31, 33, 26, 45, 44, 38, 41, 33, 37, 43, 45, 35, 20, 37 (20 in Boston, 17 in L.A.) What jumps out at me there is the relative consistency up until the end of his time in Boston. Unlike most juicers Manny never had that breakout, "this year is so much better then any year we have ever seen from him" year. He wasn't Brett Boone going from years of 63 and 74 RBI to 141. He wasn't Brady Anderson going from a 50 steals guy to 50 home run hitter. The point is Manny was always one of the most well rounded hitters in the game, and what his overall numbers tell me is one of two things, A) He has always been on steroids, how else could you explain his consistency, or B) After his down year in 2007, he realized with that kind of production the Red Sox would not pick up his option years and no team would come close to the 20 million those years were worth, so in an attempt to conjure Vintage Manny Ramirez he began to cycle steroids eventually becoming the modern day Babe Ruth in 2 months with the Dodgers. Agree with those assessments or not, one thing I do know is Manny has been and probably will always be the best right handed hitter of our generation, (although Pujols might have something to say about that). Just look at the numbers. Every suspected juicer has a huge spike in production for a 2-4 year period, Manny's only spike is 2008. The numbers don't lie.


Still not enough for you guys to look passed my Red Sox bias, ok, how bout this one. I already know that members of the Red Sox were juicing during the 2004 World Series. Am I 100 % sure? No, but are there signs that point me in that direction? Yes. I have already relegated myself to the fact that Johnny Damon, Trot Nixon, Bill Mueller, possibly Keith Foulke, and sadly even Nomar were all juicing at some point while they were with the Sox. The eye test is too strong to think otherwise. So what if Ramirez was juicing? The point is so was everyone else in MLB. It doesn't take anything away from a moment that brought myself, my grandfather and millions of other Red Sox fans to tears.


Staying on the subject of steroids, Roger Clemens was back in the news today, and I don't even want to give this jackass the time of day but he spoke so "eloquently" once again that I have to comment. First of all EVERYONE knows Roger Clemens took some type of performance enhancing drug, as I mentioned earlier THE EYE TEST is going crazy. So today on Mike and Mike in the Morning Roger Clemens addressed a tell all book written by four New York Daily News writers set to be released tomorrow. My recollection of the interview may not be verbatim, but it's pretty damn close. When asked about his "alleged"use of PED's, Clemens rattled off this beauty, "...why would I take steroids when we have a history of heart problems in my family. My father had a heart attack, my stepfather had a heart attack..." Let that sink in for a minute....do you know whats wrong with that statement? Hey Roger, your stepfather has no bearing on your personal health. But wait it gets better, when asked about Andy Petitte's sworn testimony, Clemens said, "...my answer to that is the same as it has always been, Andy misremembers..." Now clearly Roger watches the news and reads the newspapers because I watch Sportscenter everyday and I had no idea this book was being released, so he has to know by now that "misremembers" isnt even a word...hold on....yep spell check just confirmed for me that misremembers is in fact NOT a word. I want to villify Clemens but when he says some of the things that he does as regularly as he does you almost have to feel sorry for him........almost.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

He's One Of The Good Guys

As sports fans we all clearly have our favorite teams and players. In case you hadn't figured it out, mine happen to be the Red Sox and Redskins. What makes sports so much fun though is the fact that as sports fans we can rally around a certain team or player(s) for any amount of time for any reason. I may only be speaking for myself because my entire world revolves around sports, but I have been known to follow a team I have never followed before simply because they were fun to watch, one of their players had a great story, their coach was a soundbite waiting to happen, whatever the reason may have been that particular team or player was able to draw me in. That is why my heart almost dropped the other night when I saw St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Rick Ankiel go flying face first into the wall unable to protect himself. Ankiel is one those players I am talking about.

For those of you who don't who Rick Ankiel is, his story, in a completely athletic sense, is miraculous. No he didn't survive some terrible accident or fight off some life threatening disease or even overcome a debilitating injury. I am not trying to compare him to athletes who stories are more along those lines, but what Ankiel did do is make it to the Majors as a stud young pitcher only to watch himself lose his ability to throw strikes, spend years in the minors trying to work out the kinks to no avail, then try his hand as an outfielder, get called BACK UP to the Majors, and hit 25 homeruns in his first full season as a position player. Did I mention the guy plays pretty good defense too. I have never been to St. Louis, I have no connection to St. Louis, I'll even say of the probably 5 people I have met from St. Louis I dislike 4 of them, however I want Rick Ankiel to succeed.

In the late 90's Ankiel was a cant miss prospect in the Cardinals organization with a fastball you couldn't see and a curveball you couldn't hit. In 2000 as a 20 year old for the Cardinals he went 11-7 with 3.50 ERA and 195 strikeouts. Even the fast track was too slow for Ankiel, he was a sure fire future Cy Young award winner. Then for whatever reason in the postseason of that same year he forgot how to throw strikes, and I'm not talking missing by a couple of inches, I'm talking wild pitches 2 feet above or to the side of the catcher. His ERA in the playoffs that year, 15.75 in only 4 innings pitched with 9, yes 9 wild pitches. How could this have happened to such a good player in such a short period of time? To this day I think if you ask anyone in the Cardinals organization you wouldn't get an answer.

The Cards put him back in the rotation at the start of the 2001 season only to see the problems hadn't gone away. They sent him back down to the minors to try and fix whatever was bothering him, but that didn't work either. As a baseball fan it was a pretty painful process to watch. After a couple more years of little success Ankiel decided to give up his dream of pitching in the big leagues, but not on the dream as a whole.

Imagine my surprise two summers ago when I am watching Baseball Tonight and I hear the name Rick Ankiel, St. Louis Cardinals. Surely they weren't trotting this guy out to the mound again? No they were not, they were starting him in right field...RIGHT FIELD!!! Not only that but the guy could hit. In one of his first games back he hits a homerun (to play the video go to August 9th), and from there he went on a tear to end the season. Never in my life watching baseball have I seen a guy get called up with great expectations at one position, fail, then get called up several years later and succeed. That is not supposed to happen. Not only did he get called up but he produced. 11 homers and 39 RBI in 47 games in 2007, 25 taters and 71 RBI last year. AMAZING!!! Not only that but he may have made two of the best throws I have ever seen from an out fielder in my life. Rick Ankiel had finally arrived.

That's why what happened the other night was so scary. You never want to see anyone get hurt, but for me I especially don't want to see him get hurt. Sure there are guys that spend 10 years in the minors only to get called up for one game and that's it. Once again I am not trivializing anyone elses trials and tribulations, but while Ankiel was spending time in the minors he was also under a microscope as a result of being a guy who had it and then lost it. It was good to hear that Ankiel had been released from the hospital, lets just hope whatever he was doing right didn't get knocked loose by that collision. In a sports world that is currently dominated by dollars and sense it is nice to have someone to root for.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Greg's Quick Hitters


I apologize for another delay in between posts, but I've been watching the Indians all year and it's becoming more and more difficult to function on a day-to-day basis. I have a full post in me about this debacle, but I'm not ready to write it yet. So for now, it's time for another round of Quick Hitters...

M-V-P! M-V-P! It was great to see LeBron take home the NBA's MVP award. Very well-deserved. He's the best player on the planet right now, and I'm not sure it's that close. Unfortunately, that doesn't guarantee a championship. Kobe is still very scary and he happens to have a better "second banana" in Pau Gasol than LeBron has at his disposal. But, I really do like the way the Cavs are playing right now. It would be a great series with the Lakers if it happens. And I think it will.

Have you seen this video of Chicago Bears draft pick Jarron Gilbert jumping out of a pool? Are you kidding me?!? That is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. He makes it look pretty easy, but do you understand how ridiculous that is? He was in four feet of water!! That is sick. I become more and more convinced every year that pro athletes are not actual humans.

Daisy of Love. Really?? Seriously, really? Everyone knows I love Celebreality, but come on. Even I have a breaking point. They're recycling contestants/wannabe actors at this point. My boy 12 Pack is having a tougher time finding love than Bret Michaels. One of these days, 12 Pack, one of these days.

It's been a little more than a month, so it's time to check in on my favorite college football coach -- Mike Gundy. Yes, he's still a man. And, yes, he's still 40. God, I love that video.

Hey Yankees, nice job on your new ballpark. I could hit a homer to right field in that place. Watching the Tribe-Yanks series a few weeks ago at "New" Yankee Stadium was like watching a wiffleball home run derby.

Speaking of the Yankees ... A-Rod. I mean, I don't even know what to say anymore. I've never had much of an opinion on him to be honest, and that remains the case. He's a very good baseball player, but I've never really wanted him on my team. He'll go down as one of the strangest athletes of my lifetime. Tyson. A-Rod. Rodman. Terrell Owens. Manute Bol. They are all fantastic talents, but somewhere the line between great player and great nutjob got way too blurred.

Hey guys, did you know the average woman's bra size is a 36C, which is supposedly equal to a 34D? I was floored by this, and I consider myself quite the breast connoisseur. Seriously, I feel like we guys have always held the "D" cup in such high regard. And now to find out it's basically average?! Kind of sad. It would be like if this scenario unfolded... You're a sophomore in high school. There's this one girl in your class that every guy drools over. She's the hottest girl in school. But she won't give any guy the time of day, not even the senior guys. One Friday night after the football game you find yourself at a party that this girl is also attending. Somehow -- inexplicably -- you end up talking to her. You're out in the backyard by a half-hearted bonfire. It's just you, her and two guys smoking weed that you've never seen before. Oh, and the host of the party's 35-year-old uncle. But, he's passed out. Thankfully. And all of the sudden you find yourself making out with this girl! It's like God shined his light directly on you. It's the greatest moment of your life until a little later when, in a drunken state, she opens up to you. You sit horrified as she tells you that she's nailed five guys from another high school and your geography teacher -- in the past month. Suddenly, making out with the hottest girl in school isn't so cool. And that's how I feel now about the "D" cup.

There's really nowhere to go after that, so I'll end with this: Jhonny Peralta is slowly killing my will to live.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Is Nothing Sacred!!!

Ok so I know I said I wouldn't take long breaks between blogs anymore, but I had to ponder this one for a few days. So I was watching Real Sports errr.....I mean E:60 on ESPN the other night when a story about a man named Greg Valentino came on. For those who don't know who Valentino is, he is this guy. Valentino is known as "The Man Whose Arms Exploded." He abused steroids so frequently that at one point one of biceps actually burst. At his steroid peak he was pumping 4-5000 milligrams of testosterone into his body per week. The human body on its own only produces 50-100 milligrams a week. However Valentino is not the topic of this blog, rather it was another person interviewed for the story, and what this person revealed was so shocking and mind-blowing that I am amazed my head has not exploded yet.

The man who I am talking about is Dan Clark. Think about that name for a minute, does it ring a bell? It shouldn't, but how about this name.....wait for it....wait for it....Nitro as in Nitro from American Gladiators. In the ESPN piece, Nitro a.k.a. Mr. Clark revealed that he had abused steroids for close to 20 years. Once I heard this I immediately had to take a shower, I felt so dirty. You mean to tell me that American Gladiators was not a clean sport. I get why Major League Baseball players use steroids, I understand why NFL players juice, but American Gladiators? If we cant trust our (and yes they belong to us) American Gladiators then who can we trust?

When you are given the privilege to be an American Gladiator, you are not only representing yourself and your fellow gladiators, you are representing all of America. In a world based upon integrity, honor, and dignity what Nitro did was spit in the face of the Ol' Red, White, and Blue, through a twisted tale of lies and deception. All of those victories over everyday Joes in events such as Powerball, Breakthrough and Conquer, Joust, Assault, Atlasspheres, Dogfight, Duel, Gauntlet, Hang Tough, Pursuit, The Wall, and Tug-o-War (just to name a few) should be wiped clean. Forget the asterisks, take them out of the record books COMPLETELY!!! What kind of an example would we as Americans be setting for the youth of our country if we did not make an example of this Monster.

Mr. Clark's admission has made me rethink everything about American Gladiators. Do you mean to tell me that Gemini wasn't an actual constellation in the galaxy that could only be seen under the bright lights of Universal Studios Arena? I supposed next you would tell me that Zap and Laser were not actually born from lightning bolts from the great God Zeus. After telling me that you can then ruin my day by telling me Turbo's heart was only a V-6 engine and not the V-8 I had previously thought. You could even go a step further and tell me that Lace has bad skin. And if you really wanted me to jump off of a cliff you would tell me that that wasn't Malibu's real hair!!!

But why stop with the Gladiators? Maybe Color Analyst Larry Csonka really didn't know he had to look into the camera. Maybe that wasn't really Mike Adamle's voice. And worst of all maybe all of those signs in the crowd weren't made by the fans but rather by NBC executives. Mr. Clark has now brought into question everything about what used to one of the greatest sporting periods in American History. The only thing I can hope for now is that the powers that be at American Gladiators have cleaned up their acts and taken the blindfold off of America because with everything going on in the world today I don't think Americans could stomach the idea of New American Gladiator Wolf not actually being a wolf.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Nice To Have You Back

Well as you can imagine I am feeling pretty good as a Red Sox fan. They are riding a 10 game winning streak heading into tonight's against the Tribe, they finished off a sweep of the Yankees and they seem to be hitting on all cylinders right now. However there is another reason for my excitement about the 2009 Red Sox, and that is the fact that after watching the weekend series with the Yankees it is apparent that REAL Red Sox fans have taken back Fenway Park!!! No this is not another therapy session about Red Sox Nation, (although they have contributed to this problem), this is just pointing out that the best home field advantage in all of baseball, maybe all of sports, just got tougher...again.

What I mean by "real" Red Sox fans, is baseball fans who happen to love the Red Sox. These are the fans who understand the game, and all of its unique qualities. There was a time during the second half of last season and throughout most of the playoffs where many of the fans showing up to the games were of the corporate variety because it had become chic in Boston to be seen at Red Sox games. What this (along with ridiculous ticket prices) did was push the die hard fan out of Fenway, taking away some of the old yard's menacing qualities. If you look at games toward the end of last season and every home playoff up until Game 5 against the Rays there just wasn't that normal buzz at Fenway. How do I know this? Even the girlfriend was able to point that one out. Fans were leaving in the 6th and 7th innings of games just because the Sox were down a couple of runs. That is ludicrous!! You can agree with this assessment or not, but I believe players feed off of the energy of a crowd more than they will admit, and I will always say that there is NO WAY the Sox come back in 2004 if every fan was not still at Fenway in the 9th inning of Game 4 against the Yankees.

As I said it all started last year in Game 5 of the ALCS. With the Red Sox down 7-0 after 6 innings the crowd began to file out, I guess they had to get up early for work the next day. (I NEVER leave a sporting event early. I paid for 9 innings so I'm gonna see 9 innings.) However 25,000 of the 37,000 stuck around, and then what do ya know? One run scores and suddenly that buzz is back, even though they were still down by 6 runs. Then Ortiz parks one and we got a ballgame and everyone is standing. Then he who shall go nameless puts one in the seats, and Coco ties it, and the nameless wonder wins it, and the place GOES NUTS!!!

Would the momentum carry over into this year I wondered? The Sox decided not to raise ticket and concession prices for the first time this decade, giving a little bit of hope, not a lot, but a little bit of hope to those diehards who might not have been able to make it out to as many games in recent years, and while the Sox went 6-2 in their first 8 home games against the Rays, Twins and O's, the buzz was there but it wasn't THERE. Then the Yankees came a calling, and quickly it was the 9th inning on Friday with the Sox facing a two run deficit, down to their final strike and the NEW left fielder for the Sox at the plate. That ladies and gentleman is when the buzz reappeared. The place went crazy after Jason Bay's homer and Youk's subsequent walk-off. The next day the same thing, faced with early late deficits, no one on the team or in the stands panicked, and it ended up being a mini blowout. But it was Sunday night that gave me all the proof I needed to know that Fenway was going to be the toughest place to play this year for a visiting team. Up 2-1 in the 5th Jacoby Ellsbury electrified those in attendance and watching on tv with a straight steal of home. It was not the steal of home that proved to me that Sox fans are back, it was how they responded; with a 2 minute long standing ovation and a curtain call FOR A STEAL!!! It was awesome. It gave me and my lady friend goosebumps. Fenway Park is back!

For those of you who want to downplay what I am saying, would Florida Marlins fans do that for one of their players? Hell would Tampa Bay fans do that for one of theirs? I'm not saying Red Sox fans are the only fan base that would appreciate a play like that, but there aren't many that would. There is a reason why the Red Sox have been the best home team in baseball since the new regime took over. Of course they have had great players on the field who know how to use that ballpark to the best of their abilities, but there is another reason as well, and you don't need to look to very far for it.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Another Weekend Movie Gem


There's nothing like stumbling home from the bars on a Friday or Saturday night and discovering a "gem" of a movie on cable. It's something me and my boy Jason (aka Mill or Miller) mastered in college, and something we still pull off to this day when I'm spending a weekend in Columbus.

Well, on this particular Friday night I wasn't stumbling home from any bars. In fact, I didn't even go out. I was relishing in another Cavs win and eagerly anticpating the end of the NFL Draft. That's right, the end of the draft. I don't get the fascination with the NFL Draft. I'm not going to sit around for 10 hours on a Saturday and wait every 15 minutes (10 this year, thank God) for some team I don't care about to draft some guy I've probably never seen play and quite possibly have never even heard of. Plus, not watching the NFL Draft means less Chris Berman in my life. Something we should all strive for.

With all that said, I was in the perfect state of mind to catch a "gem." And I did.

I flipped the channel to Spike TV and was intrigued with what I saw. What did I see, you ask? I saw Morgan Freeman walking down the street with Justin Timberlake in what appeared to be a movie. Now, I was downstairs so I didn't have available to me the guide that pops up on the TV screen. I couldn't figure out what was happening. Why would Morgan Freeman ever agree to do a movie with the guy from 'N Sync? I was intrigued, so I kept watching. The next scene guaranteed that I would watch the rest of this movie.

Morgan Freeman had just told JT -- as the kids call him -- to go get drunk (since apparently it was a Friday and that's what cool kids do on Fridays). We cut to a scene at a nightclub where people are dancing. Slow dancing. Oh, it gets better. JT is dancing with... wait for it... Piper Perabo!! I still didn't know what movie I was watching at that point, but there were two things I did know: I was in for a hilariously bad movie, and apparently Piper Perabo has actually done movies other than Coyote Ugly. Who knew?

Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, the bar was raised. Timberlake peered across the dance floor and locked eyes with who I could only assume was his enemy (considering I knew nothing of the plot at this point). He was also slow dancing with a girl. He was a black man. He was bald. He was... LL Cool J!! I swear to God this is all true. My head was spinning. I consider myself somewhat of a movie guy, but I was at a total loss. I had no idea what was going on. But I knew it was magic.

At that point I knew I was in for the long haul, so it was time to try to figure out the plot. Bad idea. Apparently, Morgan Freeman owned a newspaper and JT was a young reporter at said paper. JT was breaking a story about corrupt cops and, as you can imagine, those corrupt cops didn't like that very much. It appeared that LL was one of the corrupt cops, but he was also doing good deeds. He was kind of watching out for our boy JT. Interesting. Then, some rough looking dudes attacked JT and Piper after they exited the club, putting Piper in a coma. They must have been the corrupt cops. And one of them was the immortal Dylan McDermott. The only good thing Dylan McDermott has ever done is this -- and that's not even really him. But are you honestly telling me they couldn't pass for the same guy?

There was a lot for me to try to wrap my head around at this point. What studio would agree to "green light" a movie in which both Justin Timberlake and LL Cool J were going to play prominent roles? A documentary comparing the "Around The Way Girl" video with the "Cry Me A River" video? Yes. A movie starring the two of them? No, thanks. And why would Morgan Freeman agree to be in it?!? What director would take on this movie? And what is the name of this atrocity??

And then it happened.

In walks Kevin Spacey. I couldn't believe my eyes. Kevin Spacey and Morgan Freeman?!? These are Oscar-winning actors! These are really good actors. What is going on?!? Why was this happening? I was more confused than Shawn Kemp at a daycare center. Let me refresh your memory on the cast we are now working with: Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey, Justin Timberlake, LL Cool J, Piper Perabo, Dylan McDermott and the legendary John Heard -- better to known to most of us as Mr. McCallister from Home Alone. Apparently, forgetting his youngest son at home while going on vacation and then losing him in an airport a few years later drove Mr. McCallister to become a corrupt cop.

I quickly gave up on understanding what this movie was about and focused my attention on enjoying the hilariously bad acting and figuring out what the title of this beauty was. That's when my cell phone rang. It was 2:30a.m. It was Miller. Perfect. He had just stumbled home from the bars and was enjoying a screening of Mallrats on HBO. Talk about a gem. We have enjoyed the same screening of Mallrats on HBO the last two times I've been in Columbus. It doesn't get old.

I told Mill to flip over to Spike TV and tell me the name of the movie that was playing.

"Edison Force. Two stars," he said.

Edison Force. Then I remembered that the name of the fictional town in this abomination was Edison. The "Force" stood for police force. Wait a minute. Did he say two stars? This movie got two stars? How is that possible? I told him what I had seen so far as he marveled at watching a scene featuring Justin Timberlake and LL Cool J in a dramatic movie. We concluded the extra star came solely from the fact that Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey co-starred in the movie. I'm sure they both wish they could have a mulligan on this one, but they can't. They are in this movie. Two Oscar winners. Hence, the second star.

I went to the movie's IMDb page when it finally, and mercifully, ended. According to the website the title of the movie is just Edison. But the box cover that's featured on the site clearly reads Edison Force. And that's what I'm going with. It's the perfect name for this movie -- not well thought out, corny and... not well thought out. The writer and director -- David J. Burke -- has nothing else to his credit worth mentioning. Imagine that.

Can't you just picture that meeting at the studio?

"We're not sold on the script. What are you thinking for a cast?"

"We got Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey signed on."

"Great!! It's a go. Those guys can turn a shitty script into gold anyway. Who else did you have in mind?"

"Um, we're still working on that."

"Ok, that's fine. You got Freeman and Spacey. As long as you don't do something stupid like hire Ice Cube and Joey Fatone to fill out the other two key roles we should be in good shape." (hearty laughs)

"Yeah, exactly." (nervous smile)

It turns out, after further reading on the IMDb page, that the movie was originally set for realease in 2005, but it was pushed back after poor test screenings. No shit. And in the end, the film never made it to theatres. Straight to DVD.

But I'm still recommending it. Hey, it's entertaining. And that's what movies are supposed to be about. It might not be entertaining in the way the writer/director intended, but it is entertaining.

Ladies Love Cool James. I love Edison Force.