Monday, April 13, 2009
Greg's Quick Hitters
We should apologize for the delay in posting anything new. It's been a busy week for Will. I'm just lazy.
I want to talk about more than just one thing today, so I'm going to hit you with a few random thoughts (which I'm calling "quick hitters")...
If anyone has any extra starting pitchers laying around their place please ship them to: Progressive Field, 2401 Ontario St., Cleveland, OH 44115. What a disaster. Here are the ERA's of the Tribe's starting pitchers (in order from "Ace" to 5th man in the rotation) after six games: 9.90, 10.80, 81.00, 8.31, 6.00. I'll help make sense of that in case you're not a statiscal whiz -- it's not good. It's not good at all. I'm longing for the days of Charles Nagy. Hell, I'm longing for the days of Jose Mesa (when he was a starter).
I love that a guy who speaks virtually no English won The Masters. You know the open-minded old white gentlemen who run "A Tradition Unlike Any Other" were thrilled with that turn of events. An hour earlier it looked like a middle-aged white guy from Kentucky was about to win, but instead he gave it away to a guy from Argentina who chain smokes and can't understand a word Jim Nantz is saying inside "historic" Butler Cabin. I love sports.
By the way, is there a more awkward awards ceremony than what transpires inside "historic" Butler Cabin? It was taken to a new level this year when they needed an interpreter. I so desperately wanted Cabrera to light up a Marb Light while Nantz was firing away questions, keeping it in his mouth while Immelman was helping him put on that hideous looking green jacket. Then, "accidentally" having the lit cig fall out of his mouth and on to the jacket causing a cigarette burn on the front pocket as the old white guy who's overseeing the proceedings has a heart attack right there in "historic" Butler Cabin while Nantz has to throw to 60 Minutes. Now that would've been a Masters unlike any other.
Obviously Kenny Perry choked away the tournament, but you really do have to give the guy credit for how he handled himself afterward. He called himself an "average" player and said the way he finished is why he's not a "great" player. Kudos, KP. (And double kudos for your really hot daughter.)
I know I'm getting older, but I just don't get the whole Lil' Wayne thing. I've tried really hard, but I'm not a fan.
If I had the choice of anyone on the Cavs' roster to hang out with for one night I'm definitely hitting the town with Zydrunas Ilgauskas. If for no other reason than I'm convinced he smokes, and the thought of bumming a cig off Z while we were checking out chicks outside some bar in C-town excites me tremendously.
Why does ESPN still force us to endure Chris Berman in realms other than NFL shows? I clicked over to Sportscenter last night and quickly wanted to drop a refrigerator on my head when I was forced to listen to Berman babble about himself (imagine that?) and the fact that he's been with ESPN for 30 years, blah, blah, blah. All this while he was wearing that ridiculous green jacket he wears on the Sunday of The Masters because it's his own little tradition. Hey Chris, there's a reason ESPN doesn't include you on their Masters coverage -- no one wants you there!! Including Augusta National. You're extremely annoying. Please just stick to the NFL shows on Sundays during the season. I don't watch them anyway.
As for the sportscasters and analysts I do like...
Nick Faldo is getting really good. I love the Breen-Van Gundy-Jackson team on NBA games. Jeff Van Gundy tells it like it is. Love Gus Johnson obviously. I mean, it gets no better than this. Dan Schulman is rock solid. If you're watching an NBA game in heaven Marv Albert is definitely at the mic. Bobby Knight has been great for ESPN. I know I might be in a small camp, but I enjoy Brent Musberger calling a college football game. I like Joe Buck for baseball, but not football. Love Gary Thorne and "Doc" Emrick for hockey. Ernie Johnson is the best studio host in sports. I've always enjoyed Mike Patrick's work. Kevin Harlan has moved way up my list in recent years. And I'm blessed to have been able to listen to two of the best play-by-play radio guys in sports thru the years here in Cleveland -- Joe Tait with the Cavs and Tom Hamilton with the Indians.
There are reports that there may be a DQ in suburban Cincinnati that sells the Nerds Blizzard, but I'm very skeptical and that has not been confirmed.
I thought the Broncos made out well in the Jay Cutler trade.
I had zero Final Four teams picked correctly in my own NCAA tourney pool, but I won the other pool I was in for cash (Thanks UNC!). That's what happens when you hedge your bets.
I know it's women's basketball, but what UConn just did was pretty damn impressive. They went 39-0 and only trailed one time in the 2nd half the entire season. And that was for just one possession!! That is domination.
In case you haven't noticed (and judging by the attendance, you haven't) the women's college softball season is in full swing, and my Arizona Wildcats are struggling a bit. They're still ranked in the Top 15, but expectations in Tucson are National Championship or bust. There's still a month to go until the start of Regionals, so I'm not panicking yet.
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By the way, Z does smoke cigarettes (imagine weed too!! i would pay to see Z put on the gas mask!). Saw him at Rocky River Brewing Company in West Lake sucking down what looked to be a Marlboro 100. Classic!!
ReplyDeleteOde to Driscoll and Whitmer
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you a little story about two guys who became larger than life. It all started in the bustling city of Johnstown, PA, where two local celebrities dominated the Fox-8 News airwaves. Their names: Greg Whitmer and Will Driscoll.
I first met Will covering a high school football game in Berlin, PA. It was very cold that day-- Will was wearing a heavy coat. His smile was the only thing warmer than the hot chocolates handed out at the Snyder Sports Complex. We chatted a bit and discussed the game and just like that he was gone. Driving home that night, I wondered if I would ever see this "Will" guy ever again. Little did I know our paths would cross several times as the struggle to survive in small market television continued.
His counterpart was a strapping man by the name of Greg Whitmer. Cleverly nicknamed as grandpa for grumpy demeanor, Whitmer bucked the trend on-air and shined on the desk of the Fox-8 studio. His wit and charm on television were admired by thousands of fans across the Alleghenies and his roommate, Will, thrilled them all with his wild antics and ability to be a five tool player in the television business.
Grandpa, Will and I hung out many a time in Richland Township grilling outside, playing wiffle ball and drinking tons of libations. It was the perfect fit. I was finally having fun in Central PA.
Unfortunately, it didn't last long. Fox-8 folded, Will stopped returning my calls and grandpa became even more grumpy. I wondered what wonderful magic we could have made if there was just more time. All we needed was more time.
That time is now--- thanks to the wonderful words of wisdom on my girlfriend stopped listening. I finally have a reason to live.
Mueller
Mueller--
ReplyDeleteThat is better than any post so far.
Classic.
ReplyDeleteMueller, where did we first meet?? I'm guessing it was at a high school football game somewhere in the Alleghenies, but I could be wrong.
Actually Mueller, the first time we met was at a high school football playoff game in Pittsburgh. The game was at Cupples Stadium, and I think Hollidaysburg was playing. THAT was the beginning of a lifelong friendship.
ReplyDeleteI remember meeting you in Pittsburgh, I thought we met at Berlin first for Districts, then again at Pittsburgh. I remember that game vividly. Hollidaysburg-Oliver. We both left at half time. I think I cried when you got into that awesome fox-8 whip.
ReplyDeleteAs for Mr. Whitmer-- It was a Bishop McCort-Forest Hills game I believe. I was so nervous but finally got enough intestinal fortitude during baseball season to pick up your number after hitting up Marge Bob and the Fergs.