Nice To Have You Back

Well as you can imagine I am feeling pretty good as a Red Sox fan. They are riding a 10 game winning streak heading into tonight's against the Tribe, they finished off a sweep of the Yankees and they seem to be hitting on all cylinders right now. However there is another reason for my excitement about the 2009 Red Sox, and that is the fact that after watching the weekend series with the Yankees it is apparent that REAL Red Sox fans have taken back Fenway Park!!! No this is not another therapy session about Red Sox Nation, (although they have contributed to this problem), this is just pointing out that the best home field advantage in all of baseball, maybe all of sports, just got tougher...again.

What I mean by "real" Red Sox fans, is baseball fans who happen to love the Red Sox. These are the fans who understand the game, and all of its unique qualities. There was a time during the second half of last season and throughout most of the playoffs where many of the fans showing up to the games were of the corporate variety because it had become chic in Boston to be seen at Red Sox games. What this (along with ridiculous ticket prices) did was push the die hard fan out of Fenway, taking away some of the old yard's menacing qualities. If you look at games toward the end of last season and every home playoff up until Game 5 against the Rays there just wasn't that normal buzz at Fenway. How do I know this? Even the girlfriend was able to point that one out. Fans were leaving in the 6th and 7th innings of games just because the Sox were down a couple of runs. That is ludicrous!! You can agree with this assessment or not, but I believe players feed off of the energy of a crowd more than they will admit, and I will always say that there is NO WAY the Sox come back in 2004 if every fan was not still at Fenway in the 9th inning of Game 4 against the Yankees.

As I said it all started last year in Game 5 of the ALCS. With the Red Sox down 7-0 after 6 innings the crowd began to file out, I guess they had to get up early for work the next day. (I NEVER leave a sporting event early. I paid for 9 innings so I'm gonna see 9 innings.) However 25,000 of the 37,000 stuck around, and then what do ya know? One run scores and suddenly that buzz is back, even though they were still down by 6 runs. Then Ortiz parks one and we got a ballgame and everyone is standing. Then he who shall go nameless puts one in the seats, and Coco ties it, and the nameless wonder wins it, and the place GOES NUTS!!!

Would the momentum carry over into this year I wondered? The Sox decided not to raise ticket and concession prices for the first time this decade, giving a little bit of hope, not a lot, but a little bit of hope to those diehards who might not have been able to make it out to as many games in recent years, and while the Sox went 6-2 in their first 8 home games against the Rays, Twins and O's, the buzz was there but it wasn't THERE. Then the Yankees came a calling, and quickly it was the 9th inning on Friday with the Sox facing a two run deficit, down to their final strike and the NEW left fielder for the Sox at the plate. That ladies and gentleman is when the buzz reappeared. The place went crazy after Jason Bay's homer and Youk's subsequent walk-off. The next day the same thing, faced with early late deficits, no one on the team or in the stands panicked, and it ended up being a mini blowout. But it was Sunday night that gave me all the proof I needed to know that Fenway was going to be the toughest place to play this year for a visiting team. Up 2-1 in the 5th Jacoby Ellsbury electrified those in attendance and watching on tv with a straight steal of home. It was not the steal of home that proved to me that Sox fans are back, it was how they responded; with a 2 minute long standing ovation and a curtain call FOR A STEAL!!! It was awesome. It gave me and my lady friend goosebumps. Fenway Park is back!

For those of you who want to downplay what I am saying, would Florida Marlins fans do that for one of their players? Hell would Tampa Bay fans do that for one of theirs? I'm not saying Red Sox fans are the only fan base that would appreciate a play like that, but there aren't many that would. There is a reason why the Red Sox have been the best home team in baseball since the new regime took over. Of course they have had great players on the field who know how to use that ballpark to the best of their abilities, but there is another reason as well, and you don't need to look to very far for it.

Another Weekend Movie Gem

There's nothing like stumbling home from the bars on a Friday or Saturday night and discovering a "gem" of a movie on cable. It's something me and my boy Jason (aka Mill or Miller) mastered in college, and something we still pull off to this day when I'm spending a weekend in Columbus.

Well, on this particular Friday night I wasn't stumbling home from any bars. In fact, I didn't even go out. I was relishing in another Cavs win and eagerly anticpating the end of the NFL Draft. That's right, the end of the draft. I don't get the fascination with the NFL Draft. I'm not going to sit around for 10 hours on a Saturday and wait every 15 minutes (10 this year, thank God) for some team I don't care about to draft some guy I've probably never seen play and quite possibly have never even heard of. Plus, not watching the NFL Draft means less Chris Berman in my life. Something we should all strive for.

With all that said, I was in the perfect state of mind to catch a "gem." And I did.

I flipped the channel to Spike TV and was intrigued with what I saw. What did I see, you ask? I saw Morgan Freeman walking down the street with Justin Timberlake in what appeared to be a movie. Now, I was downstairs so I didn't have available to me the guide that pops up on the TV screen. I couldn't figure out what was happening. Why would Morgan Freeman ever agree to do a movie with the guy from 'N Sync? I was intrigued, so I kept watching. The next scene guaranteed that I would watch the rest of this movie.

Morgan Freeman had just told JT -- as the kids call him -- to go get drunk (since apparently it was a Friday and that's what cool kids do on Fridays). We cut to a scene at a nightclub where people are dancing. Slow dancing. Oh, it gets better. JT is dancing with... wait for it... Piper Perabo!! I still didn't know what movie I was watching at that point, but there were two things I did know: I was in for a hilariously bad movie, and apparently Piper Perabo has actually done movies other than Coyote Ugly. Who knew?

Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, the bar was raised. Timberlake peered across the dance floor and locked eyes with who I could only assume was his enemy (considering I knew nothing of the plot at this point). He was also slow dancing with a girl. He was a black man. He was bald. He was... LL Cool J!! I swear to God this is all true. My head was spinning. I consider myself somewhat of a movie guy, but I was at a total loss. I had no idea what was going on. But I knew it was magic.

At that point I knew I was in for the long haul, so it was time to try to figure out the plot. Bad idea. Apparently, Morgan Freeman owned a newspaper and JT was a young reporter at said paper. JT was breaking a story about corrupt cops and, as you can imagine, those corrupt cops didn't like that very much. It appeared that LL was one of the corrupt cops, but he was also doing good deeds. He was kind of watching out for our boy JT. Interesting. Then, some rough looking dudes attacked JT and Piper after they exited the club, putting Piper in a coma. They must have been the corrupt cops. And one of them was the immortal Dylan McDermott. The only good thing Dylan McDermott has ever done is this -- and that's not even really him. But are you honestly telling me they couldn't pass for the same guy?

There was a lot for me to try to wrap my head around at this point. What studio would agree to "green light" a movie in which both Justin Timberlake and LL Cool J were going to play prominent roles? A documentary comparing the "Around The Way Girl" video with the "Cry Me A River" video? Yes. A movie starring the two of them? No, thanks. And why would Morgan Freeman agree to be in it?!? What director would take on this movie? And what is the name of this atrocity??

And then it happened.

In walks Kevin Spacey. I couldn't believe my eyes. Kevin Spacey and Morgan Freeman?!? These are Oscar-winning actors! These are really good actors. What is going on?!? Why was this happening? I was more confused than Shawn Kemp at a daycare center. Let me refresh your memory on the cast we are now working with: Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey, Justin Timberlake, LL Cool J, Piper Perabo, Dylan McDermott and the legendary John Heard -- better to known to most of us as Mr. McCallister from Home Alone. Apparently, forgetting his youngest son at home while going on vacation and then losing him in an airport a few years later drove Mr. McCallister to become a corrupt cop.

I quickly gave up on understanding what this movie was about and focused my attention on enjoying the hilariously bad acting and figuring out what the title of this beauty was. That's when my cell phone rang. It was 2:30a.m. It was Miller. Perfect. He had just stumbled home from the bars and was enjoying a screening of Mallrats on HBO. Talk about a gem. We have enjoyed the same screening of Mallrats on HBO the last two times I've been in Columbus. It doesn't get old.

I told Mill to flip over to Spike TV and tell me the name of the movie that was playing.

"Edison Force. Two stars," he said.

Edison Force. Then I remembered that the name of the fictional town in this abomination was Edison. The "Force" stood for police force. Wait a minute. Did he say two stars? This movie got two stars? How is that possible? I told him what I had seen so far as he marveled at watching a scene featuring Justin Timberlake and LL Cool J in a dramatic movie. We concluded the extra star came solely from the fact that Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey co-starred in the movie. I'm sure they both wish they could have a mulligan on this one, but they can't. They are in this movie. Two Oscar winners. Hence, the second star.

I went to the movie's IMDb page when it finally, and mercifully, ended. According to the website the title of the movie is just Edison. But the box cover that's featured on the site clearly reads Edison Force. And that's what I'm going with. It's the perfect name for this movie -- not well thought out, corny and... not well thought out. The writer and director -- David J. Burke -- has nothing else to his credit worth mentioning. Imagine that.

Can't you just picture that meeting at the studio?

"We're not sold on the script. What are you thinking for a cast?"

"We got Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey signed on."

"Great!! It's a go. Those guys can turn a shitty script into gold anyway. Who else did you have in mind?"

"Um, we're still working on that."

"Ok, that's fine. You got Freeman and Spacey. As long as you don't do something stupid like hire Ice Cube and Joey Fatone to fill out the other two key roles we should be in good shape." (hearty laughs)

"Yeah, exactly." (nervous smile)

It turns out, after further reading on the IMDb page, that the movie was originally set for realease in 2005, but it was pushed back after poor test screenings. No shit. And in the end, the film never made it to theatres. Straight to DVD.

But I'm still recommending it. Hey, it's entertaining. And that's what movies are supposed to be about. It might not be entertaining in the way the writer/director intended, but it is entertaining.

Ladies Love Cool James. I love Edison Force.

Time to Grow Up.......Or Down

I dont know about you, but after watching Game 1 between the Celtics and Bulls, and now currently watching Game 2, (CRAP!! Chicago leads by 3 at the half), I seriously think the NBA needs to change its stance on the age limit for entering the league. I am sitting here watching Derrick Rose, and while he is not having quite the game he did in Game 1, it makes me wonder why make a kid like him go to school for one year? You could say the same thing about Michael Beasley, Greg Oden, and Kevin Durant. While Rose is the only one so far to make his presence known in the playoffs, all four of these guys are extremely talented, and it is unfair to them and their "schools" to force them to go to school for only a year. I am suggesting one of two solutions, A) The NBA lowers the entry age back to 18, therefore making high school kids eligible again, or B) raise the age to 20 therefore sending these kids to school for a minimum of 2 years.

When the NBA raised the minimum age from 18 to 19, I'll admit I was ecstatic. I have never been a big fan of kids coming out of high school and going straight to the NBA, maybe its jealousy, maybe its the fact that by allowing them to enter out of high school we are devaluing the meaning of an education, or maybe its the fact that some of these kids just arent ready. For every Lebron, Kobe, Garnett and Dwight there is a Kwame Brown, Korleone Young, Darius Miles and dont forget Jermaine O'Neal. He has had a very nice career, but it took him four years to get off the bench. The point is, after having let it sink in for a few years now, I HATE IT!!! The 19 year old age limit is not so much hurting the NBA as it is college basketball. None of the players that I mentioned above had any intention, regardless of what they said, of staying past their freshman years. So instead of wasting an institutions money on a scholarship, just let these kids start making their own money.

Now if anyone reading this is a Memphis fan, clearly they will disagree with me, but seriously folks that was the exception not the rule. The only other time something like that happened, where a player made that big of an impact in his freshman year was 2003 with Carmelo Anthony at Syracuse. Also look at these schools, Syracuse and Memphis (to an extent) have solid to great basketball traditions, Kansas State on the other hand does not. If Beasley stays a second year not only does he probably get better, but the players around him get better, and who knows, the Wildcats could have made significant improvements upon the 2nd round tournament exit in 2008. Instead they had no continuity and made it to the 2nd round of the NIT.

On the flip side, if the NBA raises the age limit to 20, college basketball will see star power it hasnt seen in a long time. Could you imagine a scenario this year in which Derrick Rose, Michael Beasley and Blake Griffin battled it out for National Player of the Year. It would have happened had the age limit been 20. Not only would we see more spectacular individual performances, but the teams we root for would be MUCH MUCH better. Look at some of the teams that have won this decade, Duke in '01, Maryland in '02, UConn in 'o4, the Florida teams and the UNC teams. All of those teams had a solid nucleus of juniors and seniors. I am not saying that by raising the age limit every college basketball player will stay at least through his junior year, but the possibility is much greater. By keeping those kids on campus for a second year there is a much higher chance that they return for a third maybe even a fourth year. Perfect examples are the second Florida national championship team, and this years UNC team.

For those who argue against the second point and say the NBA has no right to deny somebody the opportunity earn a living, YES THEY DO! The NBA is a business and if it wants to put restrictions on who can and cant play they have every right to do so. The system is not perfect and it probably never will be perfect, but one year here or one year there could make a world of difference for both the NBA and the NCAA.

The Cavs, the Economy and a Season to Cherish

"What time do the Cavs play?"

It's a question you expect to hear during basketball season from a fellow sports fan here in Northeast Ohio. But when the question is being uttered over dinner by your 70-year-old grandmother, you know something special is going on. And something special is definitely going on.

Few things can capture the collective interests of an entire region of people like sports. In this case the region is Northeast Ohio, and the team is the 2008-09 Cleveland Cavaliers.

Like most of the country, Ohio has been hit hard by the current recession. Ohio's unemployment rate rose to 9.4% this past February, higher than the national unemployment rate of 8.1% and up from 5.9% in February 2008. People are losing their jobs and their homes at an alarming rate, and no one is quite sure when the economy will bounce back. It's a scary time for all of us.

The Cavs tipped off the season on October 28 in Boston. It was a Tuesday night. I had just moved to Charlotte, North Carolina. I was trying to make sense of my life after losing my job at a TV station in Johnstown, Pennsylvania. I jumped at the gracious opportunity my cousin had given me when she asked if I wanted to move in with her and look for a job in Charlotte. The Cavs built a 7-point lead by halftime that night, but a horrendous third quarter did them in as they lost to the defending NBA champion Celtics, 90-85. I spent the next hour talking on my cell phone to my friends Kevin and Chad. We complained that they looked like the "same ol' Cavs." Terrible third quarter. What else is new? Twenty-one turnovers. That sounds about right. Nine missed free throws (four by LeBron). They're not good enough to get past Boston, we said. It was over. We hadn't celebrated Halloween yet and we were ready to throw in the towel. These things happen when you follow Cleveland sports.

Then, things starting changing. Barack Obama became the first black man to be elected President of the United States on November 5 as the economy steadily worsened. Obama brought hope. And while the economy was sliding deeper and deeper into an abyss, the Cavs were getting closer and closer to the light. They rattled off 13 wins in 15 games in November. And this Mo Williams character was starting to make us think we may have finally found a 'Robin' to LeBron's 'Batman'. And I landed a job in Charlotte.

By my birthday on New Year's Eve the Cavs were 26-5 and still had not lost a game at home. They were the talk of the league. A team from Cleveland was being billed as the best team in the NBA. Yeah, a team from Cleveland. And their best player, and arguably the best player on the planet, was from Akron. He was Northeast Ohio's own.

The new year started and the state of the economy was still on the minds of most Americans. Economic stories led every newscast every night. And I was paying attention again because my job turned into a disaster, leaving me no choice but to leave. It was a rough time for me. It was a rough time for most Americans. I don't know how other people dealt with their situations; a lot of situations that I know were much tougher than mine. Men and women with children losing their jobs, not knowing how they would pay their mortage or put food on the table. Not a good feeling. In fact, a downright awful feeling.

But for two and a half hours a few nights a week, I bet some of the great people of Northeast Ohio (and other parts of Ohio) dealt with their harsh realities the same way I did -- watching the Cavs. Watching LeBron James. Watching a group of guys that looked like they were having fun. Watching a group of guys who played like they knew how lucky they were to be playing basketball for a living. Watching Zydrunas Ilgauskas -- better known to us as "Z." Ilgauskas has logged 22,023 minutes of game action during his 11-year NBA career, and every minute has been spent in a Cleveland uniform. Z was born Kaunas, Lithuania, but he might as well have been born in Lakewood or Cuyahoga Falls.

Lebron put on an epic performance at Madison Square Garden in New York City on February 4. He dropped 52 points, 11 assists and 9 rebounds on the Knicks in a 107-102 Cavs win, just two nights after Kobe Bryant scored 61 in the same building. Four days later, Kobe and the Lakers handed the Cavs their first loss at "The Q." Four weeks later, I was back in Ohio. The Cavs were 47-12.

I moved in with my grandparents in Mogadore (which borders Akron to the east). I knew job hunting in Ohio would not be fun, but at least now I could watch every Cavs game, instead of just the games they were featured on national TV like when I was living in Charlotte. And there's nothing like watching games with my grandparents. I'm lucky. A lot of my friends only have one or two (if any) grandparents left. All four of mine are alive and well, and my relationship with all of them is very special to me. Sometimes I wish I could stop time in that TV room at my grandparents' house. My Grandpa Whitmer still finding a way, despite the Cavs sporting the best record in the league, to complain about something they're doing wrong. My Grandma Whitmer laughing at Anderson Varejao flailing around the court collecting offensive rebounds and doing all the little things that a team needs someone to do in order to win a championship. "I just love that Varejao," she always says.

These might be tough times, but they're special times for me, too. I don't know how many more opportunites I'll get to have like this with my grandparents. I think about other people who are experiencing similar situations with their family and friends. Fathers and sons. Fathers and daughters. Mothers and sons. Mothers and daughters. Sisters and brothers. Husband and wives. Boyfriends and girlfriends. All shapes and sizes. All races and religions. All brought together a few nights a week by one common passion -- the Cavs.

The Cavs lost their last game of the regular season this past Wednesday night. It was a meaningless game for the Cavs as they had already sewn up the best record in the NBA, guaranteeing them home-court advantage throughout the playoffs. Knowing that, head coach Mike Brown decided not to play LeBron, Z, Mo and Joe Smith in order to rest them and keep them from getting injured before the start of the playoffs. The Cavs reserves still put on one helluva show for the 38th sellout crowd of the season at The Q, before falling to Philadelphia (and their starters), 111-110, in overtime. The Cavs finished the season with a record of 66-16. Their record at home was a staggering 39-2. Both were franchise records, and the 39-2 mark was one win shy of tying the NBA record. LeBron should, and probably will, win the league's MVP award. Quite a season.

I want the Cavs to win the NBA championship. Cleveland hasn't seen a championship since the Browns in 1964. I want the Cavs to win the championship for the city. I want them to win for Northeast Ohio. I want them to win for my grandpa. I want them to win for my dad. I want them to win for my uncles. I want them to win for my friends.

But whether the Cavs win the title this June or not, it should not take away from how special a season this has been. I see car commericals with companies telling me that if I buy from them they'll finance my car if I lose my job in the next year. I hear radio ads telling me I can buy a 3-bedroom house for ten grand because the house is in foreclosure. Times are tough. But through it all, for me, three things have remained constant and kept me sane: family, friends and the Cavs.

No one appreciates the journey anymore. It's all about the destination. Forget the means, focus on the end. You want a singing career? Don't work on your craft and sing in dingy nightclubs for years. Line up with 20,000 other people outside some arena and hope you can land on American Idol. You want to be famous? Don't worry, you don't need any discernable talent. Just tryout out for some reality TV show. If the Cavs don't win the NBA championship the season will be a total waste. It's all about the title.

Well, not for me it isn't. Not when I see what this team has meant to this region. Not when I hear middle-aged women at the grocery store talking about the game the night before. Not when I see kids in their LeBron jerseys riding their bikes down the street. Not when I see ratings for Cavs' broadcasts on Fox Sports Ohio shattering records. I enjoyed the journey. And I'll enjoy it for the next two months.

I'd go on, but I have to go tell my grandma what time the Cavs play.

Really?

Am I the only one? Please tell me someone else out there is wondering what the hell Greg Paulus was thinking when he was deciding which sport to play in college. Clearly he got this one wrong. For full disclosure purposes I should tell you that I have never really liked Greg Paulus as a basketball player. I have always thought that he was more of an agitator than anything on the basketball court. Everybody, and by everybody I mean anyone who loves Duke which seems to be EVERYBODY, says Greg Paulus was such a tough player, I believe that couldn't be further from the truth. Paulus was only "tough" when his teammates were nearby to come to his aid. For those who disagree with me look at the tape from the 2006 ACC Tournament Championship Game, and tell me that Jared Dudley and Craig Smith wouldn't have flossed their teeth with Paulus had his teammates not been there to save him. He was an overrated point guard who lost his starting job the minute Duke got somebody better to play the position, only to get it back once Nolan Smith decided to go in the tank as well. What I am trying to say is that my view of Greg Paulus as a basketball player may be a little bit skewed, but at least I am honest.

The fact of the matter is, apparently Paulus is ONE HELLUVA FOOTBALL PLAYER!! Who else do you know that can play football in high school, decide to play basketball in college instead, then once his eligibility runs out still have the necessary skills to field offers from other colleges about coming back to play football. On top of all of that he has also worked out for the Green Bay Packers.

Is Greg Paulus really that good at football? None of us really know, because after winning not just the Gatorade National Player of the Year for football, but also the Gatorade MALE Athlete of the Year, Paulus decided to take his McDonald's Basketball All-American status to Duke. Do you know who else has won the Gatorade Male Athlete of the Year this decade? LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Greg Oden and Kevin Love. When reading that list of names Greg Paulus doesnt exactly come to mind.

Believe it or not I think Paulus' current circumstance is unbelievably impressive. The guy didnt play football at all in college, yet people still think he has the tools to play big time Division 1 football, and in Michigan's case compete for their starting quarterback position. My question is why didnt he just play football from the beginning? From everything I am reading he is a much more talented football player than he is a basketball player, and right now he has a future in football, he has no future in basketball.

You also have to wonder, does he regret his decision to play basketball? Other than his freshman year when J.J. Reddick was still on the team, Paulus was the point guard for one of the least successful four year runs Duke has had since Coach K took over. Do you think instead of that he would have rather been the heir apparent to Brady Quinn at Notre Dame?

I dont know, maybe its just me, I am just having a tough time wrapping my head around the fact that this guy is supposedly a once in a generation athlete.

What a Statement

Hey guys, sorry it seems like it has taken forever for a new post, (it has), that is my fault and I promise it wont happen again. That being said I think I have one that will make you think today. So I was at softball practice the other day, when one of my teammates, lets call him Kevin because that’s his name, hits me with this astute observation, “…You know when I was younger I used to think the premise of Rookie of the Year was much more believable than that of Little Big league but now that I am older my thinking is reversed…” How do you respond to that? I completely lost focus for the rest of practice trying to wrap my mind around what I had just heard. I agreed with his assessment but why? And if I had the choice for either one of those situations to happen to me, which one would I choose?

I understood Kevin’s assessment of the believability factor. When you are a young kid growing up playing baseball there really is nothing you want more than to be a big league ballplayer. Being a manager never really crosses your mind, much less inheriting that responsibility from your dead grandfather. I remember seeing Rookie of the Year and going to bed every night hoping I would break my arm in a freak accident, suddenly gain the ability to throw 100 mph, get a call from the Sox, have a 30 year career and then move onto managing. Clearly my dreams did not come true.

While Little Big League was a great movie, and yes I still watch it every time it comes on TBS, no 12 year old kid playing Little League aspires to be a manager, hell no 19 year old college player aspires to be a manager. Managing is something you get into because A) You had a great playing career, and because you hit 500 home runs you need absolutely no credentials to manage a baseball team, B) you had a mediocre to good playing career, and every time you came to the plate the commentator would say something along the lines of, “…this guy is such a student of the game…” or C) you had a poor playing career, followed up by the realization that if you were going to do anything in baseball you might as well coach.

The fact of the matter is every kid playing ball wanted to believe that Rookie of the Year was more realistic than Little Big League, when in fact the opposite is true. Having grown up now we all, or at least most of us , realize that the chances of inheriting a baseball team, while extremely slim, are much greater than tearing your arm to shreds and becoming a human cannon. Could you imagine if Rookie of the Year was made today how many parents would be planting booby traps in their backyards hoping that their kids would somehow stumble upon it and suffer a debillitating injury all the while having the number for Dr. James Andrews’ practically waiting on speed dial. I guess what I am trying to say is that the scenario that we as individuals thought was more realistic could have been a result of our own dreams at the time rather than a rational belief.

To prove this point, at least from my perspective, I think these days at 26 years old I would much rather be a manager than a player. Even though I would still love to be a big league baseball player I know that this is probably not going to happen, what with getting back into baseball shape, hiring an agent, making my way through the minors and finally getting the call to The Show. (Stop laughing, all of this COULD happen.) Having managed a Little League team for 3 seasons I could see a scenario in which a long lost relative dropped dead and in their will left me, someone they have never met, the reigns to a Major League Baseball team. I mean my experience speaks for itself, my all-time managerial record is 37-10. That’s about a .775 winning percentage. I think it would be great, because now I could actually let players like say…J.D. Drew know exactly how I felt every time I saw them strike out looking with the game on the line, and not only strike out looking, but strike out without swinging the bat once. I mean for all of you people who don’t understand baseball you get three strikes, that means three chances to swing at a decent pitch in what is called the strike zone. Sorry, I got a little carried away.

The fact of the matter is Kevin brought up an excellent point with his assessment of the two movies and should be commended for his viewpoint. If Saturday Night Live was still any good that statement should have been submitted for one of the Deep Thoughts segments.

By the way, before I go, I think my favorite part in either Rookie of the Year or Little Big League comes at the end of ROTY when Henry is back playing baseball for his Little League team and you see him playing in jeans...JEANS!!!! First of all jeans are ok in tee-ball and maybe coach pitch, but once you are facing live pitching its time to go to Sports Authority (it was bigger than Dick's Sporting Goods at the time the movie was made) and buy a pair of baseball pants and cleats. Secondly, its not like he couldn't afford them, he was a MAJOR LEAGUER!! That scene has and always will annoy me. Also do you think Gary Busey remembers making that movie? Till next time....

Greg's Quick Hitters

We should apologize for the delay in posting anything new. It's been a busy week for Will. I'm just lazy.

I want to talk about more than just one thing today, so I'm going to hit you with a few random thoughts (which I'm calling "quick hitters")...

If anyone has any extra starting pitchers laying around their place please ship them to: Progressive Field, 2401 Ontario St., Cleveland, OH 44115. What a disaster. Here are the ERA's of the Tribe's starting pitchers (in order from "Ace" to 5th man in the rotation) after six games: 9.90, 10.80, 81.00, 8.31, 6.00. I'll help make sense of that in case you're not a statiscal whiz -- it's not good. It's not good at all. I'm longing for the days of Charles Nagy. Hell, I'm longing for the days of Jose Mesa (when he was a starter).

I love that a guy who speaks virtually no English won The Masters. You know the open-minded old white gentlemen who run "A Tradition Unlike Any Other" were thrilled with that turn of events. An hour earlier it looked like a middle-aged white guy from Kentucky was about to win, but instead he gave it away to a guy from Argentina who chain smokes and can't understand a word Jim Nantz is saying inside "historic" Butler Cabin. I love sports.

By the way, is there a more awkward awards ceremony than what transpires inside "historic" Butler Cabin? It was taken to a new level this year when they needed an interpreter. I so desperately wanted Cabrera to light up a Marb Light while Nantz was firing away questions, keeping it in his mouth while Immelman was helping him put on that hideous looking green jacket. Then, "accidentally" having the lit cig fall out of his mouth and on to the jacket causing a cigarette burn on the front pocket as the old white guy who's overseeing the proceedings has a heart attack right there in "historic" Butler Cabin while Nantz has to throw to 60 Minutes. Now that would've been a Masters unlike any other.

Obviously Kenny Perry choked away the tournament, but you really do have to give the guy credit for how he handled himself afterward. He called himself an "average" player and said the way he finished is why he's not a "great" player. Kudos, KP. (And double kudos for your really hot daughter.)

I know I'm getting older, but I just don't get the whole Lil' Wayne thing. I've tried really hard, but I'm not a fan.

If I had the choice of anyone on the Cavs' roster to hang out with for one night I'm definitely hitting the town with Zydrunas Ilgauskas. If for no other reason than I'm convinced he smokes, and the thought of bumming a cig off Z while we were checking out chicks outside some bar in C-town excites me tremendously.

Why does ESPN still force us to endure Chris Berman in realms other than NFL shows? I clicked over to Sportscenter last night and quickly wanted to drop a refrigerator on my head when I was forced to listen to Berman babble about himself (imagine that?) and the fact that he's been with ESPN for 30 years, blah, blah, blah. All this while he was wearing that ridiculous green jacket he wears on the Sunday of The Masters because it's his own little tradition. Hey Chris, there's a reason ESPN doesn't include you on their Masters coverage -- no one wants you there!! Including Augusta National. You're extremely annoying. Please just stick to the NFL shows on Sundays during the season. I don't watch them anyway.

As for the sportscasters and analysts I do like...

Nick Faldo is getting really good. I love the Breen-Van Gundy-Jackson team on NBA games. Jeff Van Gundy tells it like it is. Love Gus Johnson obviously. I mean, it gets no better than this. Dan Schulman is rock solid. If you're watching an NBA game in heaven Marv Albert is definitely at the mic. Bobby Knight has been great for ESPN. I know I might be in a small camp, but I enjoy Brent Musberger calling a college football game. I like Joe Buck for baseball, but not football. Love Gary Thorne and "Doc" Emrick for hockey. Ernie Johnson is the best studio host in sports. I've always enjoyed Mike Patrick's work. Kevin Harlan has moved way up my list in recent years. And I'm blessed to have been able to listen to two of the best play-by-play radio guys in sports thru the years here in Cleveland -- Joe Tait with the Cavs and Tom Hamilton with the Indians.

There are reports that there may be a DQ in suburban Cincinnati that sells the Nerds Blizzard, but I'm very skeptical and that has not been confirmed.

I thought the Broncos made out well in the Jay Cutler trade.

I had zero Final Four teams picked correctly in my own NCAA tourney pool, but I won the other pool I was in for cash (Thanks UNC!). That's what happens when you hedge your bets.

I know it's women's basketball, but what UConn just did was pretty damn impressive. They went 39-0 and only trailed one time in the 2nd half the entire season. And that was for just one possession!! That is domination.

In case you haven't noticed (and judging by the attendance, you haven't) the women's college softball season is in full swing, and my Arizona Wildcats are struggling a bit. They're still ranked in the Top 15, but expectations in Tucson are National Championship or bust. There's still a month to go until the start of Regionals, so I'm not panicking yet.

An Ode to The Queen

We all have to turn down invitations from time to time. That's life.

Maybe your buddy tells you he has an extra ticket to the Cavs game and asks if you want to join, but there's a Beverly Hills, 90210 marathon on that night so you can't make it. Maybe a friend asks you to join her and her hot friends for dinner, but you hate hanging out with hot girls unless there's vodka and bad lighting involved so you decline. Maybe your boy asks you to skip town with him for a weekend trip to Mandalay Bay in Vegas, but you lost two grand and your dignity the last time you made that trip so you decide against it.

I'm no different. I've turned down many an invitation in my day. But there's one invitation that guarantees a positive response from yours truly: "Do you wanna go to Dairy Queen?"

My friends and family don't even have to ask me anymore. They know the answer. If DQ is involved in the plans just tell me when and where I need to be. I've never met a Dairy Queen I didn't like. When I move to a new place I immediately do three things: 1. Call the cable company to get cable set up. 2. Find the closest Taco Bell. 3. Find the closest Dairy Queen.

Can anyone honestly tell me they've ever had a bad experience at The Queen? I'm sure there's someone out there, so let me speak to that person: It was your fault. That's the only possible way to have a bad experience at DQ -- by screwing it up yourself. The Queen doesn't make mistakes. People do.

Dairy Queen exploded on to the American landscape in 1940 when the first store opened in Joliet, Illinois. Sixty-nine years, 5,900 DQ's, 21 foreign countries and billions of satisfied sweet tooths later The Queen is still going strong.

The Queen got so good at making ice cream goodness awhile back she decided, "Screw it, I'm gonna offer food, too!" But she was smart. Food isn't offered at every location. And even if it is, that particular DQ may only offer hot dogs and chicken sandwiches. No burgers. But two towns over you may stumble across burgers and chicken strips on the DQ menu. You just never know. Hey, you have to keep the ice cream maniacs guessing. Keep them wanting more. The Queen learned that long ago.

How are you supposed to get to the bottom of a Peanut Buster Parfait with a "normal" spoon? You're not. That's how. And even if you do you'll be left with vanilla ice cream staining your palm and wrist. DQ doesn't do normal spoons. She has her own spoons. That's how goddamn cool she is. Remember the spoons from back in the day? The ones that had an ice cream cone on the top? Maybe this will refresh your memory. Try eating a DQ treat with your average, silver spoon. It tastes like betrayal. Actually, it doesn't even taste.

Have you ever had amazing mixed with wonderful and a splash of fantastic? I had it the other day. I had a Blizzard. There is no "treat" on this planet that rivals the Blizzard. In fact, when most people think of DQ they automatically think of the Blizzard. I have a profound love for the Blizzard. I love the taste. I love the many different varieties (24 as of today by my count). I love that it comes in three different sizes depending on my mood. I love that it has its own Fan Club (over 2 million strong!). I love that a large Peanut Butter Butterfinger Blizzard provides you with more total fat (78 g) and saturated fat (27 g) than you should intake in an entire day, with a cool 1,480 calories thrown in for good measure. And, most all, I love the name. It's perfect -- Blizzard. I dream of myself standing outside in an actual blizzard. But the snow is vanilla ice cream. And, for some reason, there are ground up Oreo cookies flying around as well. All I'm armed with is a long red plastic spoon and an intense desire for ice cream goodness. I dream.

I have just one complaint to lodge with The Queen and all that is Blizzard. Whatever happened to the Nerds Blizzard? No one has the answer. Why did they stop selling it? It is a question my sister and I have wrestled with for years. It was easily our favorite Blizzard when we were kids. We would make the short walk with our cousins down to the DQ in Mogadore, eagerly anticipating that sweet taste of Nerds candy mixed with soft vanilla ice cream for the entire mile and a half walk. Then that sweet taste was stripped away from us. And we never got the memo. So, if anyone out there knows of any DQ on this planet that still sells the Nerds Blizzard please let me know. I will meet you there, and the Blizzard is on me.

For now, I will continue to enjoy each and every trip to Dairy Queen. It's the only place on earth where I'm incapable of "panic ordering." It never disappoints. Listen, you only go around this roller coaster one time. Enjoy it.

And do so with a long red plastic spoon.

This Bud Is Skunked

Today's post is going to be short and sweet but I feel it is something that has to be said. BUD SELIG HAS TO GO!!! The last straw for me is the fact that games on Opening Day 2009 are being postponed due to bad weather and there is no reason why this should be happening. Opening Day for baseball fans is the equivalent of Christmas Day, and right now I got a lump of coal in my stocking.

Of course I am writing this because my beloved Red Sox did not get the opportunity to open the season on time due to the fact that they were scheduled to play in Boston on Opening Day. I don't know about you but I have been to Boston in early April, and that is neither the time nor the place to be playing baseball, and Mother Nature reminded us why with heavy rains and winds blanketing the Hub. What makes it even worse is that the Sox were playing Tampa Bay....TAMPA BAY!!! Not only do they play in Tampa, but they play in a dome. You find me a reason why they were playing in Boston. The same can be said for Chicago, where the White Sox and Royals didn't get just get rained out, they got snowed out!!!

Now I realize Bud Selig probably does not make the schedule, but his job entails overseeing all of Major League Baseball, which in my opinion should include schedule making. There is no reason to be playing games in Boston, Chicago and Philadelphia when you have teams in Florida, Arizona, Georgia, Texas and California, not to mention 4 other teams outside of those states that play in domes.

This Bud is not for baseball anymore.

Welcome to Lexington

The perfect hire.

It doesn't happen often. But it just happened in Lexington, Kentucky. The University of Kentucky basketball program is the hand, and John Calipari is the glove.

I wanted Billy Donovan two years ago. He didn't come. We were left with Billy Gillispie. And it never felt quite right. Gillispie is a good basketball coach, but it takes a lot more to succeed at UK. Wildcat fans (myself included) have ridiculously high expectations and we expect "our" coach to be larger than life. He has to win basketball games at a rapid rate, and he has to do it with the charisma and charm of, well... Rick Pitino.

Pitino captured everything UK fans want in a coach. He won a lot of games (including a national championship and two other trips to the Final Four in 8 years). He recruited great players year in and year out. He excelled as a public figure. He commanded a room. He handled the media with ease and grace. He handled the administration the same way. He never seem flustered or irritated by the unreasonable expectations laid at his feet. When things went wrong he stood up and took the blame. Rick Pitino was Kentucky Basketball.

Personally, I think it was a mistake for him to leave. It was never going to get any better. The funny thing is, I think Pitino knew that in his heart. But that's the thing about us humans; we always want to challenge ourselves. We always wonder if there's something else out there that just might be a little bit better. We usually find that there isn't. The grass isn't always greener. If something feels right, then it probably is. Well, John Calipari feels right.

Listen, I don't think John Calipari is the next coming of Bobby Knight. I watch him coach and he doesn't strike me as a great X's and O's guy. But he can coach, and he fits like a glove what it means to be the coach in Lexington. He's a great motivator. His kids love playing for him. He has a larger than life personality. He loves the camera, and the camera loves him. He can command a room. And most importantly in this day and age -- he's a fabulous recruiter. Just look at what he did at Memphis. If you don't think Memphis will go back to being a normal, average to above average mid-major program in the next 2-3 years, you don't know college basketball. McDonald's All-Americans went there to play for Calipari, not to play at the FedEx Forum.

As for the baggage that comes with "Coach Cal?" I don't care. I really don't. I'd be lying if I said I did. Look, did he know some agent was giving Marcus Camby money and hookers 13 years ago? I'm sure he did. But who doesn't want money and hookers? Seriously though, do you really think that any "big-time" college basketball or football program is clean? Come join me in this place I like to call reality if you do. I haven't thought that since I was about 14 years old. There's way too many people with way too much money involved for that to be the case. I see it first hand here in the Buckeye State. Ohio State fans think Jim Tressel is such a stand-up guy that he would never do anything to bend the rules. I mean, the guy wears a sweater vest and looks and acts like a politician! Exactly. Politician. Tressel "bent" the rules like crazy at Youngstown State when he was piling up Division I-AA national championships. It doesn't take much digging to find countless stories. Do you think that suddenly stopped when he got to Columbus?? Come on. Just because you look the other way doesn't mean it's not going on.

John Calipari may never accomplish what Rick Pitino did inside Rupp Arena. But he's the closest thing we've had since. I loved Tubby Smith. I happen to think he's an excellent basketball coach. But he fell short in the recruiting and public persona departments. Tubby is in a perfect place for Tubby. He'll win a lot of games at Minnesota. Every now and again he'll even win the Big Ten. And once in a great while he may have a team good enough to get to the Final Four. Well, this ain't Minnesota. That's not good enough here. Fair or not, that's the way it is. And John Calipari knows it. I happen to think that's part of the reason why he took the job. He wants that pressure. He wants the chance to be placed on that Bluegrass pedastool with Rupp, Hall and Pitino.

He would look mighty good there.

But I'm not clearing out a spot just yet.

Hey Cutler, Would You Like Some Cheese With That Whine?

"Cheesy" title, I know (I could go on all day with references like this), but all Jay Cutler has done the past few weeks is whine like a little girl about his situation in Denver. (Side Note; For those of you looking for a post about Jesus...I mean John Calipari, I am going to leave that up to my colleague Greg, seeing as he has already replaced George Washington on Mt. Rushmore with Calipari.)

Seriously though, Cutler needs to shut-up, or I guess speak up since he is acting like an 8 year old and giving the Broncos the silent treatment. The Broncos do not owe him anything, nor does Cutler have any leverage in this mess at all. DO NOT get me wrong, I think Jay Cutler is uber-talented, I mean who doesn't like a 6'3" , 230 lb quarterback with a laser rocket arm? (Haven't I heard that somewhere?) But Cutler has been in the league for 3 years and has NO playoff wins to show for it, and in my personal opinion stats don't matter, wins do.

Ok, so new head coach Josh McDaniels didn't exactly endear himself to Cutler when one of his first orders of business was to try and trade for wunderkind Matt Cassell, who I am still not sold on, but sports is a business these days. These things happen. Are you telling me Mike Shanahan wont try and trade for every offensive lineman that has played for him once he gets another job, even Mark Schlereth, because lets face it, he needs to find something else to do.

What many people are forgetting, Cutler included, is Cutler is still the same quarterback of a team that blew a 3 game lead in the division with 3 games to go. Now I can already hear the nay-sayers, "it was the defenses fault", last time I checked the offense needs to score some points too. In Denver's 8 wins last year, Cutler threw for 2,447 yards, 17 td's, and 5 int's with a QB rating of 105.1. On the contrary, in Denver's 8 losses those stats dropped to 2,079 yds, 8 td's, 13 int's and a rating of 68.6. Also in their last three games, all defeats by the way, the offense put up 54 points, an average of 18 a game. Not awful, but hardly championship worthy numbers.

Now you may say I have it in for Jay Cutler, as you will see later I do not. What I do have a problem with is his refusal to show up while UNDER CONTRACT, and this is not a problem exclusive to Cutler. Let me break it down for you like this, Greg and I both worked in television, an industry which for some unknown reason makes it employees sign contracts. If Greg or myself decided that we didn't want to fulfill our contractual duties, and believe me it crossed our minds daily, the station would say "Ok, that's fine", the only problem being we would not get paid the rest of our money and we would not be able to work anywhere else until our contracts were up. Sounds awesome right?

Now I know professional athletes make a little bit more money than Greg and I did, but still 20-25,000 dollars a year is still a lot of money....Oh wait, I have just been told in my earpiece that 20-25,000 dollars is in fact not a lot of money, and that our contracts probably would have been terminated anyway regardless of how highly we thought of ourselves. Yes I still wear my earpiece around. It gives me the rush I need to get through the day.

The moral of this story is Jay Cutler should show up, perform his duties, and try to lead the Broncos back to respectability, because what many people don't realize is Denver has won 1 playoff game since John Elway retired. To put that into perspective, the Redskins have won 2, which leads me to my second point, the REDSKINS SHOULD TRADE FOR JAY CUTLER!!!

I may bash the guy for his child like characteristics, but I know talent when I see it, and this kid has got some TALENT. It has been so long since the Skins had a QB that could shred a defense that it is time for some new "Cutlery" (its too easy folks.) Do I like Jason Campbell? Yes. Do I love him? NO. Would I love to see Jay Cutler connect with a streaking Santana Clause 65 yards down the middle of the field? WHO THE HELL WOULDN'T? So if you're reading this post Zornado, listen carefully, trade Jason Campbell, the 1st round pick, Ladell Betts, and Joe Theisman's surgically repaired leg to the Broncos for Jay Cutler. It makes too much sense!!!

The only person on the Redskins that is untouchable right now is John Riggins, that should tell you all need to know about the state of affairs in Washington right now.

Interesting story from the weekend. My friends and I are out at a bar on Friday watching the basketball games, when one of my friends decides to do his usual and hit on any cute waitress that walks by. He eventually strikes up a conversation with one of them eventually centering around his love affair with Nicolas Cage. He thinks Nicolas Cage is one the best actors of our generation, and they talk about this for a couple of minutes. The waitress then chimes in with this beauty, "...oh yeah, he played Richard Nixon in Frost/Nixon...". My friend was immediately put off by this, and let her know his thoughts. Fast forward about an hour later we are getting ready to walk out the door, when my friend finds the waitress again and proceeds to tell her, "...You were right Nicolas Cage did play Richard Nixon in Frost/Nixon..." to which she responded, "...see, I told you...". WOW, smart girl. Once again proves my theory, the general public is generally stupid.